I LOVE Japan. (=

I was so careless to left my token behind in Los Angeles and apparently the hotel claimed they found nothing. :(

I hate to make comparison but somehow or rather you just see the difference because it's just right in front of you. You have people so concerned over you missing your token, trying and finding all means to help you to check if it's really left behind in States, giving you the relevant information you may need to get a new token at nearing 6 in the morning. And on the other hand, you have people who can't care a single bit more for you. Maybe I just don't see it but eyes are always the best weapon to judge intuition. And then, I can't help to feel that tiny bit of disappointment.

The picture just gets clearer isn't it? As much I was hoping for a twist....
Alright heading out to Harajuku with Aaron! Bye:)

每个女孩身边都有一个不是男朋友的男朋友

Quoted this video from Facebook. And I think it's so true! 每个女孩身边都有一个不是男朋友的男朋友. Many of times, the two persons just can't be together, and yet they still want to revolve around in each other's life. So I guess it also applies, 每个男孩身边都有一个不是女朋友的女朋友. Uh huh... Heh.



Off to bed. And then to Tokyo next. :)
Good night!

Lax, gmt-7.

Afternoon in Los Angeles

Afternoon in Los Angeles was spent....

Playing games on IPAD,


Wordpressing on IPAD,


And occassionally camwhoring. :p


Other than spending my USD on food and some cosmetics, I bought another new book from Barnes & Noble, "Three Cups of Tea" by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin. I hope it's a blast. =)

And why

为什么在我想停止寂寞的时候，还会担心另一个人怎么办？ I must be MAD! Haha...

*shrugs* Reaching airport soon... Meaning? Time to put on the mask again.

Till Narita. :)

Was waiting for the final episode of 偷心大圣PS男 to be out in the web, and apparently, it hasn't yet. *yawn* Shall turn to my book then sleep. Barely few hours to sleep. *yawn*...

Mondays' blue

我寂寞了。
决定停下来了。
:)

And then to find out some things have long expired, and there I was hoping the expiry date could be extended if I had added some preservatives or stored it well properly. But that was just total misleading.

Oh well... Yolene survived, as usual. :)

Another 8days work trip again. To Tokyo and Los Angeles. I will be missing ah JAY's concert. =/
I seriously see Mondays' blue now.

*crossed my mouth*

13years

Just realised, the three good friends are all engaged to different girls now. That was for comparison to 2 years ago. It wasn't a joke, but it almost felt like a picture being painted, got destroyed, and then it was redrawn all over again, with different characters and themes to highlight the drawings. All the best to you guys. I sincerely wish. =)

Anyway, it was a great day out with the GIRLS. 13years of friendship and still very much counting. We don't meet every other day, every other week or even every other month. But we know when anyone of us fall, the rest will be there to hold. Love ya all. :)




"I jump a little too high, and fall a little too fast"

preaching

Mr R was just preaching to me over Whatsapp. Dunno what the winners in life make things happen... Life is too short to be sitting around waiting for things to happen... Christians believe life on earth is just a trial and their true life is after death... Why not make the most of your time here, make all the mistakes... Embrace it or simply just look upon it and wish for things to happen... Duuno what we can never truly know the absolute about anything...

Wah lao eh... This man... Haha...

He was hoping he can swing my perspective about life a bit by his so called "preaching" or "enlightenment". Haha... And he ended with "Maybe you don't wish to get disappointed but that's life."

I guess I was just looking for some light. And he has given me. *laugh*

Mr R you better be happy now, cos I am blogging about you and your preaching! HA.

Saturday with the GIRLS.

Cheerios! =p

i like you

Somehow, I miss having someone important for me to call, to sms and to meet up with. And I miss being that important person to that someone else. But I can't help to have the feeling that sometimes I am just trying too hard to find that someone to fill up the gap, and then to realise that not any Tom, Dick and Harry can make me feel over the clouds. And it's actually that hard for my heart to skip a beat faster for just anyone.

And then when someone says "I like you", he just expects you to answer "yes or no", and think the chasing part is unnecessary. Cummon lei... Please don't expect any girl to move a step closer to you when efforts aren't even put in. At least for me. Say me hard to please, but I think that's at least the basics to be formed.

Anyway, it was dinner with dear xiu xiu at Esplanade today. I was craving for sushi and yay, I was damn satisfied just now. Hehe. I saw a PINK cargo bag that I really like, but it's like so unnecessary. But I so wanted to own it. KIV first la. Been spending way beyond limits for the past few months.

I miss my brother already He went sailing for weeks and still not back. And the youngest brother is doing his degree soon. Everyone seems to have a new purpose in life now. As for me, staying happy and have an open heart to welcome whatever that's so going to come along next. :)

Yummy!

Yummy!
How not to love to eat? :p

Less than 12 hours

Will be back home in less than 12hours time, after like 8 long days away. So looking forward the weekend in sin. Just don't feel like working. Haha. Have got some leaves next month & am contemplating on a holiday trip. Well, the decision is like on me now. Since I have no obligation and am not answerable to anyone, I should have the liberty and freedom to choose. Not as in some actually bother. A lot of things need hard work and recognition. Since there are people who care for you and are obviously trying to create opportunities, at least seen making efforts, am I still going to forever continuing saying I am not ready, please give me some time?

It's time to give myself a chance, am I right to say so?

Time to catch some sleep. Can't wait to be back.

:)

SFO

Love the oatmeal for breakfast. :)

SFO is sunny, with chilly wind though. Sales is everywhere, I told myself not to sign any card this trip, but I just broke my promise. I shopped for myself and on people's behalf. Just figured out that there are some stuffs which aren't really suitable, like the top that I thought will look nice, turn out to be not so fantastic. Yeah, I should have tried it earlier on, but you know me, I am the kind who don't like to try clothes. Haha... Well, one good thing in States. They do refund or exchange within 7days, some 30days and some even 90days. I still have tomorrow to make some correction. :p

I love the room. Very huge, and the bed is too OMG. Haha... Marriott's beds never go wrong. Had thai fried rice, thai ice tea with pearls and kahlua coffee cream cheesecake for dinner while watching Germany VS Uruguay. Very very satisfied. *winkz* Next up, a nice hot shower and sink into the bed to read my book. And oh, the books in Borders are really cheap. I just bought 3 books. Ha. Maybe will pop by again tomorrow. =)



And many things seem to surface, slowly. You don't even need explanations. I will deem as it is just a page in my life, a page in his life, which was a total mistake. But now all back on tracks. Happy, contenting, and hopeful for the future. The pursuit of our own happiness just lie in our own hands. Grab it, let go, or chase after it. :)

The new Hong Kong room! Renovated, slightly more spacious, and cosy!
Well, I am in San Francisco right now. Just checked in about 2hours ago. Am tucking in to bed soon. Having a little stomach discomfort.

Before zzz, it's Pocky time. I need to eat my strawberry Pocky first! Haha...
:p

尖沙咀

猪肝面 or 猪肝粥 plus 冻柠檬... Supper for tonight, at 尖沙咀!
Hehe..

Off to grab lunch then catch some winks of rest before getting ready for work.
CTS on board some more but heck la...Haha...
Be back next week~

Cya.

The important list

So... Spain won! :)

Having lying down on my bed, typing away this entry before I sleep. Actually there are nothing significant to note down. No new loves, no new hobbies, no new encounters to brag about.

Been spending quite a bit of time alone & with my family. Cutting out my contacts and interactions with the unnecessary people, which is good. Many of times, we just keep going round and round in circles, and in the end it's back to the same spot again. I don't want life like this anymore.

I always thought everyone out there has a list of important people in his/her life. A list of people who are of higher level of importance and greater level of significance then the rest. I do have a list and I thought everyone else does until a friend highlighted to me it's not true because he doesn't have one. He said just meet who he feels like meeting, no an exact priority to anybody. Really? For me I just can't treat everyone equally. You don't love everybody the same don't you? Haha... For eg, a hi-bye friend of 10yrs vs a good friend of 10yrs. Who has that slightest higher level of importance? Lol.

Maybe it just all boils down to the different perceptions of individuals. People like me are just more emotional and don't know how to take things easy. *cover mouth and giggle*. Am I typing any sense here? Am so lazy to scroll up and read through what I have just typed. I am using iPhone screen not iPad screen lor... Heh.. Good night, still have to work later.

Zzzzz loves. (:

If time can go back, I really wish certain things didn't happened.

As such, no one will be heartbroken.

exclaimed

Came back in the morning, had breakfast, napped awhile and went out with both of my parents. They exclaimed how rare... HA! Bought a casual dress and only to realise the new piece they gave me wasn't the design I wanted. #$%^&&**# *ROAR* I still have to go down and change. So gonna waste my time, energy, petrol and cashcard. I tried to convince myself to like that "wrong" design and I failed. Haha. Well well... some things are just not meant to be la huh?... Don't like means don't like. No feeling means no feeling. The harder you are trying to like, the more you will realise it's just so wrong. Not only for clothes, it applies for others things in life too.

Just cooked mee goreng for daddy and myself for supper. He is happy to heaven. Hehe...

Good night~
XOXO.

Zurich delight

Am typing away this post in the dark, cos batchie still sleeping and I didn't wanna on the light to disturb. Even the typing of the keyboard is careful so that I will make only minimal noise. Haha.

Zurich is having freaking summer hot weather. These 2days were spent going to pilates, gym, cooking in my room (ya i brought my cookpot~), feasting on fruits and salads and my yummylicious clam chowder soup, having sparkling wine and champagne and beer over watching World Cup, and to sing along "don't cry for me argentina". =p

I am eating this raspberry yogurt that comes with rice bits now. Very tasty, I still have lots of left over food in the fridge and in my bag, We have been too ambitious. Thinking 2girls can eat the whole cargo bag and the entire fridge of food finished. *laugh*

Okay, be back home on a brand new week. Then off to HongKong then San Frans! Been missing HongKong pretty much. Hehe...

Bye and muacks!
Love ya all (=

Have a Champ~

Off to Zurich tonight! My bag is packed with cookpot, and lotsa food. Hahaha... Am not in the best of my mood, but I will meditate. Hit the gym and attend the exercise classes in the hotel. Have more wine and champagne and return home on Monday with a new heart.

Wish me all the best ok?

Love.

suffocating

I suddenly feel there is hardly anybody you can trust and find faith with in the airline. People twist the stories, people back stab you, people make you look like the villain and they are the angels. All the airline craps. I have enough. Sometimes in the fit of anger, I really feel like packing up and go. But then again, I can't please everyone. I can't make everybody likes me.

Some say don't bother about what other people have to say about you and don't care about how they look at you. But I cannot lei.... I super bother... and I super care.

Dumb.

I feel like I am suffocating. I need a breather.

dinner, ktv, supper

It was dinner, ktv and supper. There goes my workout in the afternoon. Yet to pack and prepare stuffs for my work later. Heck... Sleep first. :)

For whoever, whatever that matters, sorry I have begun to lost my instinct. I don't know anything anymore. I don't wanna live in uncertainty. I don't wanna assume. Time will tell huh?

Okay... Bye and muacks!:)

才发现每个人好像都变了。

你也变了。。

bad complex

My complexion is getting bad. Pimples start popping out, and the glow on the face is long gone. Lack of sleep? Hormones imbalance? Or auntie here is just catching up with age and the face is trying to show signs of it? Super need a new range of powerful skincare and makeup, meaning I need to spend money again. Saving money is such a tough idea. Haha!

I intend to head to the gym later, yeah, I really have to go. Then I feel like catching a movie and go for some alcoholic drinks tonight. Haha... But no plans quite yet. Still waiting for people to ask me out. *laugh*

Off to Zurich tomorrow late night with batchgirl again. Probably need some groceries shopping. We planning to cook in the room, for fun. Ha. But then, let me find my cook pot later. I don't know where I have dumped it too. Heh.

It's mid-week. Time should be passing fast. Have a good one everybody. Spend times with your loved ones, give a ring or text a message to those whom you haven't seen for long. Even a simple "hello, how are you?" may mean a lot to a person. =) And not forgetting to set some times to yourself, asking what you want. Sometimes we get too engrossed with life and work and we tend to forget ourselves, forget those who matter. Good luck, and cheers. :)

想恋爱了。想有个可以依赖的肩膀。可是真心好像都死掉了。还可以相信谁？

那天我想起你了。想起曾经爱我的那个你。想起曾经是我最爱的那个你。早就不爱了。我只是怀念。我怀念的是每次争吵以后还是想要爱你的冲动。知道现在有人在你身边让你取暖，我是为你开心的。:)

To my special friend, always.

:)

Good night.

Just shut up

Just shut up. I don't understand how can a man be so nosyparker.

Get a life.

Bui Bui

Supposed to go jogging with Qunjie but I was so freaking tired (plus lazy), I slept the whole day away since I was back this morning. Eat, sleep, eat, sleep, then eat again. I am so fat, butt super huge, chucky thighs, flabby arms and big round tummy.

Bui Bui stewardess. *grrr..*

Haha!

Good night, Paris

Paris is beautiful with batchgirls. Shopping, baileys, cocktails, sparkling wine, chocolates, yogurts, salads and lots of laughter. Just when I am so happy, my camera SD card seems to be corrupted and all my past and present photos are all gone. (I have yet to transfer them to my lappy.) And to add on, my IPhone can't be sync. Every time when I try to sync, my lappy will restart all over again, again and again.

I think I just don't click well with all these IT-SAVVY gadgets. They must have HATE me big time.

G11 and Macbook PRO, I heard you guys shouting for me... HA!

Good night, Paris.

Overeasy

Ice Kachang at T3 that day after Bangkok turn. *slurp* (=


Overeasy at One Fullerton. Love the view and ambience, over looking Marina Bay Sands. Even Starbucks at One Fullerton looks more atas. And they have lots of other restaurants, cafes and pubs there. Another choice of location to hangout during my off days in Singapore. (:
http://www.overeasy.com.sg/

Heading to the city of love and romance, Paris tonight. Shopping list for mum and myself. *cheeky grin* And flying with batchgirl, how can not be fun? Hehe..

Have a great weekend everyone. I will be spending mine in Paris. Envy me not? Haha... Go have dinner and sip some good wine and watch World Cup by the river at One Fullerton. I think you will have a good time like I will be in Paris too. Ha.

Right, till then.
Love ya all.

梦真的醒了.

we wll miss you

Has to report for work at 5am. Kill me please.

Mummy says, all things are fated and many times it's hard to run away. So before it's too late, say I love you to all those who matter.

We will all miss you, uncle. Though we drift apart when I grow up, I will always remember you. The tall and shy uncle who always pull my pony tail, buy me sweets, and joint forces with the other uncles to call me "ah fat" when I was young. Rest in peace. Ah gong and ah ma are waiting for you in heaven.

friendship

More than a decade of friendship.

This is a gift. =)

One step closer

I jogged 10rounds at the stadium in the evening. I am not yet any bit or inch slimmer, but at least I know I am one step closer to my goal. Haha.

Send my car for servicing. And I am waiting for it to be ready. Seriously, I am getting a little impatient. Hot and thirsty. I want my Starbucks!

Aimlessly

At a hair salon right now. Fancy bumping into colleagues here too. Been feeling pretty aimless, so I aimlessly walked into a random salon, just trying to find some things to do. *cover mouth and giggle*

Has it really been too long that I or rather we, deep down somewhere in us, feel somehow it seems pointless or meaningless for a substantial conversation on the equilibrium? Has it been so long enough that we are actually used to it? As much as I didn't want it to happen, I know it has been long enough for me to forget and move on. Are we going to follow the protocols again and again or should we just leave everything behind us and carry on with our individual lives?

Hungry for dinner by the way.
;p

就想赖着你

Was spending the last 2hours watching 就想赖着你 on YouTube, and then to brood over the facts that why I never meet guys like Jerry in my life yet. Ha. People always say tv soap dramas are made to deviate us from the reality. It is a sign to tell us fairytale only happened on the screens. And in real life, love is just made to fit into the missing denomination of the love equation. But, I still naively believe fairytale do happened in the reality.

Every time when I thought someone is different from the rest, I would always be proven wrong in the end. Whoever someone I thought can be different is actually the same just like anyone else. Just a penny of thought, there are things in life and actions we carried out which might put us in jeopardizing positions. And they always left us in illusions and dilemmas.

Maybe we used to think a lot of things can start all over again, and feelings can be the same once again, without realising we have actually all changed. There are some dialogues which can seem a little too late to begin. Maybe certain things are better off by not explaining?

*scratch head* What kind of stupid random thought is this at this hour?
Silly...damn..
Night loves.

the Karate Kid

Caught the Karate Kid and I thought it's very good. Please go catch the movie if you haven't ok? Cathay offering $6 per ticket if you pay by nets. So just go. Don't bother to buy dvd or download it online. It's definitely worth the money. *grin*

No more red

No more red nails for the next 5days! Happy. =p

Suddenly, it all felt like it has been nothing but just a dream all this while. All those that happened lately, they were just parts and pieces of the dream. I supposed to wake up much earlier but I kept running and somehow I just lost my way in the dream. Then, I fell down and I was forced to wake up.
还忘了要怎么喊痛. HA!

没事了.

meL~

iPhone entry...

First time trying to blog using my iPhone. And I think it's so freaking cool! Haha. I have been doing some reading, trying to make my eyes tired so that I can sleep. It's almost 5 now and I still feel very awake. *roar*.

Off to Melbourne later in the evening, coming back on Tuesday afternoon and I will have a few days of break from work. I can't wait. I have a sudden detest to put on those blue uniforms. A short break will be good. I guess so. :)

Thank you for putting up with my emotional postings for the past weeks. Been feeling very attention-needy. Pretty angry with myself. Some thoughts and logic just seem hard to straighten out. But I am working on them. Soon, very soon, everything should be able to fall in their rightful places again. =)

Been sleeping at 7 odd hours in the morning for the past 2 days. Madness.

Thank you for the calls and talks on the phone.

:)

It's getting ridiculous. Extremely ridiculous.

此刻。。。我才发现连说真心话的对象都没有了。

Maybe like what R said to me that day...."yolene, i think you should seriously go consider and think about what you really want in your life...don't 到处留情...ultimately, you may realise there is actually nothing left eventually. you are left with nothing, nobody..."

It so felt like a wake up call, a tight slap on the face. 到处留情? *laugh*

Well, 以为自己很厉害...
原来勇敢，坚强
没那么容易.

what's lost?

My brother just came home with the friends from partying, all smell like freaking alcoholics, and one of the friends yelled and said, "sis, your bro acted so dao just now...so many girls wanted his numbers just now but he acted so dao..." I replied..."ya la...you mean you guys don't know meh? he's a gay. *laugh*" Crazy bunch of guys. Lol. And now they just slammed their way out for supper. *roll eyes..* All heading to Amsterdam then to Sweden tonight for some training. My mum will have peace for weeks. =p

Was back in the evening after 8days. Freaking tired that I kept falling asleep. Eat, sleep, watch tv, sleep again, wake up eat supper, then sleep again, then shower, online and then to hear the guys storming into my house.

I know all the problems and worries won't go off by themselves but on my hand, I seriously have no idea what to do, what step to carry out next. Things just so happened consecutively, and it feels like it's all pre-planned ahead, all in joint forces to go against me.

I think this time... I have really lost...

ultimate

Frankfurt New York is like a taboo flight. As much as I love these two cities, every time nearing the end of the trip, it always makes me feel some kind of down. A kind of unspoken emotional tension that seems to be pulling me apart somehow.

Was too confident, arrogant to think I can conquer every thing I want and then to realise the ultimate loser is actually myself.

Such a laughing stock.

Had some beer and champagne last night, and now waking up with uclers in my mouth. :( Eating my favourite yogurt now, while waiting for someone to return from gym and go lunch together. I am quite amazed at myself for not buying things for myself this trip, even though I claim I want to buy the luxury brands in Frankfurt in favor of the low Euro. Hahaha... Good la... Save $$ hehe. Bought stuffs for mummy though. :)

messed up

Messed up thoughts.

And everything just seems so messed up.

Like suddenly....

I am in deep shit.

You mean in this whole wide world, there is not a single soul worth you trusting and believing?

And you know...

Just when I need someone to listen, and then to realise you are not there...

This is a damn bad month, seriously.

loving NYC

Enjoying and loving New York, at this very moment. Though the weather is ridiculously hot, the company is great. I didn't buy anything, like yet? I am so amazed with myself. Everyone got some shopping bags on their hands and where's mine? Haha... Save the money for Frankfurt, for the luxury brands. =p

Sometimes you don't even bump into friends in Singapore, but I just bumped one in New York. How cool is that? Heh...

Some things just don't require any closure. So let them be. Just realise over torturing myself with all those unnecessary emotions are like so silly. Who would care about how I could have felt? Not even the ones whom I thought they somehow matter very much. Well, this is part of growing up I guess. So yes, please grow up Yolene.

I ate the above after gym. Tell me about exercising... *grin*

*yawn*

Good night and till New York!

傻人会有傻福

我很好! =)

Though still not very smart enough, ling told me it's okay.
傻人会有傻福. ;p

Blame my stupidity if you want, I find it damn hard to understand a lot of things.
但起码我有感觉.
我知道什么叫痛. :)

Off to the gym for now~

bye loves, gmt+2 fra.

钻牛角尖

I still remember yesterday I was saying waking up to a new tomorrow everyday is the best gift for now. Not giving myself a single chance to harbour hope on things and people that are impossible. It was a mistake to begin with anyway. And I swear I never ever have the intention to ruin the present life and status of other people.

But it's always like that. When you are determined to get out of the emotional trap, somehow or rather it will still come back to you and try to pull you in all over again. Well, it's a little too much to think now. Haha. But the thoughts just keep coming. *laugh*

Well, actually I am feeling quite calm and comfortable now. I am thinking to myself, perhaps, 有些东西其实我并没有那么喜欢. It could have been just an illusion to substitute my loneliness? Maybe lei. You never know... Lol...

And so sorry, I am not smart enough to wake up one day to come to my realisation about certain things. I am quite stupid, seriously. I have huge difficulty understanding issues and logics in life. It's such a pity but I am that stupid, really. I suppose there's a price to pay for every single action we do, every decision we make. And maybe to a point there is no turning back. Maybe we will all feel the lost, maybe we will all only then realise how important certain people are actually to us. But a lot of things could be too late. The faith has died. The trust has died. We have died. Talking is expensive, or rather communication is too luxurious for poor people like us? Frankly, I really wish I am smarter.

:)

Like what Jade said, I shouldn't 钻牛角尖 anymore. I will be much happier. Back to work, it was tiring, having to sleep only 3 hours at home before work. I am tired, hungry and I can feel my sore throat coming back. Frankfurt having some public holiday now and shops are all going to be closed tomorrow. Hell loads of boredom. I hope I can spot a cafe that is opened tomorrow. I will bring my book, sip a cup of cappuccino and eat my cheesecake. Sound ideally. Heading to the gym in the morning or evening sounds good too huh? Heh. Alright my eyes super need to close and rest now.

Take care people, where ever you are. :)

I am not a saint.

I am not emo-ing over anyone. Basically, many people think I am. I am just full of emotions. I am not a saint. I will feel sad. I will feel angry. I will feel happy. And I cry when it's overwhelming. I have all kinds of feelings. I am not a superwoman, really too bad.

After the sleep tonight, I will be back to the true reality tomorrow. I won't live in self-denial. I won't get upset over people who aren't worth. I won't want to think what's going to happen next. I won't want to guess the future. I won't want to analyze how my friendship/relationship will turn out with certain people. It's too tiring. Everyday waking to a new tomorrow is the best gift for now.

Good night people:)

anticipation

Off days were spent having dinners with friends, running errands. but why am I feeling so drained out? It so seems like many things happened lately, trivial ones, big ones, all make me so emotionally drained out. So much so as I tried to claim to everyone and even myself that I am super OKAY, it just suddenly feels that hard to breathe. Perhaps, maybe, I don't have to be that strong actually. Cry out loud if I have to, laugh out hard when I feel like it. So what if the whole world is looking? Haha...

Off to my 8days Frankfurt New York work trip tomorrow. Not much anticipation, no expectation. Hope the work trip is good. If the mood is there, probably I will snap some shots along the journey and post them up here.

Someone told me last night, when there is no reciprocation, you can't expect the person to wait forever. The person has to move on and find someone else who reciprocates back the care and concern. You can't be that selfish you know? Yeah...exactly. Well, just some random thoughts la. Hehe...

Alright, will be back soon. I hope everyone out there is safe, healthy and happy. :)

Love.

start counting...

Hi all... I am back from London. Very physically and mind draining work trip. I feel I have aged for 10years. Pretty terrible huh? The woman involved in the slapping case was on the flight with her beloved hubby, my colleagues and I were so hoping she would aim either one of us and let us say hello to the huge compensation of cash. Haha...

Day dreaming girls....*smack forehead and giggle*

Was taking a scroll at the unfinished bridge leading to the Marina Casino. It's beautiful. The scenery. The architectures. The lighting that brightens up the night. The shopping mall is huge, with interior design that is so perfectly well done, with an edge of modern fusion. I am sure it so gonna be a huge eye opener when all the shops and hotels are fully opened.

I guess I should start counting my blessings. People who still stay around with me, some grow up together with me, some going through my ups and downs, some witnessing my goods and my bads, some always being there for me whenever I need them, and most importantly, I know they never fail to love me. I should be glad I still have willing shoulders for me to lean on, for me to cry on, listening ears to hear me rave and rants.

那些默默关心我的人，

你们可以把你们的关心给收起来。

我不需要。

不要以为你们有多伟大，

因为你们从来都不知道失望也可以很难过。

但请相信我勇敢的很。

我正在很努力的走向我的未来。:)

Have a sudden craving for hawker centre breakfast, especially "zui gui" and hot soya bean milk. *slurp*

Heh.

Silly me...;p

Leaving on a jet plane back home!

Till Sunday morning! Loves~

future many tomorrows

Suddenly, it feels like a tight slap on the face. And I so feel like a FOOL.

Nevermind.

Whole loads of good things and wonderful encounters waiting for me in my future many tomorrows!

The power of positivity! Yay!

belle@lhr

So... did you miss me?
Hee..

London is having good weather. Bright and sunny with cool breeze, scrolling down the street with Starbucks Caramel Frappuccino is none other than pure indulgence and satisfaction. Nicole and Ling were here a day earlier and we were all having big cups filled with huge scoops of ice cream in my room last night till almost 2ish morning.

I am so glad I am feeling much better, I mean my health people. *lol* But the sneezes and coughing still trigger once in a while but I am definitely alright. Thank you to those who have shown concern and to those who didn't, aiya never mind la. Don't bother. Small case. I am not that important anyway. Don't really have many good friends actually. I just realise. Haha. But...I am okay... I don't need many friends. I just need those who really love me for who I am. Appreciate my strengths and accept my flaws. More than enough. :)

Was feeling rather lousy and low for quite a couple of days. Now come to think of it, I think I must be crazy. Getting emotional and affected over unnecessary stuffs and people, and then I don't even think they really know how I have felt and what I have gone through. I used to use mood swings as an excuse to tell people why I flared up. Was it really just simply mood swing, or was it I have higher expectation for certain people in my life. I can't even justified for myself now. People don't read minds, especially mine. I forgot. Haha..

And I have been telling myself these few days..."DON'T look forward to things and people whom don't belong to you."
:)

And yet, I allow myself to contradict from time to time....

好一点

All of a sudden, I feel I have been harsh to myself for the past days. I am not supposed to.
我是该对自己好一点的. =)

But somehow I still think life is a vicious cycle. You can't be too happy. Like I myself, I am afraid of being too happy. Whenever you get too happy, something bad always happens.

Off to London tonight. Be back on Sunday's morning. It so gonna be a long weekend in Singapore. Have a great one all.
加油! :)

想很用力的，很努力的，大哭一场。

Even when the phone is put down, I know I am still left with nothing, probably even nothing to begin with.

Disappointment

Back from a 4days work trip from Auckland. It was time to my own self, cooking own food, sleeping at own pace, falling asleep while watching TV, laughing at the Simpson cartoons, and then getting mixed feelings over super random thoughts.

Was back in the evening, received the most wanted call, and then to get excited over it. Meet up over supper and then met another new friend along the way, and then to realise it was just another one-sided hopeful thinking.

Just when I thought things are falling in place, it seems so otherwise. Things don't turn out to be my ideal, and everything right now in my life just doesn't seem to turn out the way I want them to be. Disappointment over people and probably even myself.

How I can lessen the level disappointment?

Friends, strangers, myself and everything.

Everything just doesn't seem to be right.

Even things like unknown stranger or probably it could have been someone I know, creating a fake facebook account based on my profile.

Hai...

least deserve

"Love me when I least deserve it, because that’s when I really need it."

- Eletheowl

原来你就在我身边

Fell in love with this song when my friend was singing it at KTV that day.

你 原来在我身边
我 却一直没发现想 在一起的画面
瞬间胜过永远
我 会陪在你身边
梦 会实现在这个季节
我看着你看着....

Super nice la! Haha...

I wonder how am I going to work later. Please let me work galley so that I don't have to talk so much. Been coughing quite a bit and that feeling is terrible.

ARGGHHH!

to a better tomorrow

Met up with Shervil for drinks and then the guys for some late dinner and drinks at roadside coffee shop. Was at Ice Cold Beer earlier on but I forbidden myself to drink. Voice still sucky and I don't even want to talk to hear my own voice. That's how bad it is. Haha.

Not feeling exactly fantastic, knowing there are so many things that are so beyond my limits and controls. For now, I guess only time and patience are the virtues. I don't expect to be rewarded but if I do, that would be a bonus. The tasks of clearing up misunderstanding with whoever and whoever, and sorting out my own messed up thoughts and emotions, somehow seem like a chore, seem like a huge pressure exerting on me.

Perhaps... I just need someone to listen. I just need you to listen. That's more than enough.

Alright. I shall head to do some light packing for work, do some reading then sleep.
May we all wake up to a better tomorrow. :)

tought one maybe

The 6th sense of a sick person is always more than accurate. I can't wait to get well soon, so I don't have to feel anything stronger than before, I don't have to let my mind go wild, I don't have to feel disappointed.

And then to realise actually you and you and you are just like anyone else. Just when I thought perhaps you and you and you can be different, you are no a single bit of special but just like the rest.

Hooola... it's a test. Tough one maybe.

;)

helpless

Just came home from a meet up with someone. Okay, a friend. And to feel I am actually so lost. So lost that I know I have nothing to begin with, and still I wish to end it with something. DUMB!

People who don't know you, judge you and bad mouth things behind your back, people who you care, actually choose to ignore and leave you. people who you thought you can trust, betray you. And things you know you will never get, yet there is nothing you can do except to put on a strong front and embrace the future.

I can't help it but to feel so helpless at this moment. And who should I talk to? And who can I really trust now?

get moving

The dream was weird. I know nothing will come out it, and yet I still indulge in it. Only in dreams, you set yourself free, you let your feelings and emotions go wild. I didn't hate to wake up, but it all felt like a tight slap on my face, like "cummon... get moving... you know you have to wake up one day right..."

Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain... To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices - today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it.
-Kevyn Aucoin

Side track, whole world is going Taipei for holidays lor. Maybe I should go there next month during my pathetic few days of annual leaves. Alone, off my phone, so you don't disturb and no one disturbs. Heh.

Have a great day ahead people. It's raining though, still feeling hot and humid and the drowsiness of my stupid medication starts to kick in already. "Do not drive or operate machinery if you feel drowsy." Aiya, whatever la.

Till then, I know who matters.

=)

IRRITATE

Don't know is it because I am not feeling well, everyone, everything, every issue seems to irritate.

AND...

IRRITATE BIG TIME.

IPAD?

Told you, IPAD is so damn bloody COOL! Haha..

Met Cindy and Kuan earlier on for lunch, and I was so late! Really very sorry cos I seriously overslept. Snooze my alarm umpteen times and then to realise I was so late. Managed to see a doctor earlier on, just in case la. He said I kanna some flu virus la, I just hope I will get better very soon. Precious off days aren't supposed to be wasted just like that.

But still, there are people who don't really seem to understand and they probably think I am just faking it, so that I don't have to hang out with them. Don't feel like explaining anymore. I know I am justified to myself, that's more than enough.

almost perfect day, but yet.

I thought I could have started the day perfect. Had 8hours of sleep, mummy's packed lunch with love, received the least expected smses from someone whom I used to care a lot, the plans to meet the friends for dinner and ktv. Despite my husky and almost voiceless throat box due to my terrible sore throat, I still thought the day was smooth and almost perfect.

But....

Then....

I flared up the mid way through. Okay maybe not really flared. But I got worked up, over something that was so small and unnecessary. And it was with the same person, over and over again, for months? Yes, many many months. Maybe our characters just clash, or maybe it's just me. But yet I can't believe I could get so agitated with someone who is just a friend. I have a very bad temper to begin with, and yet at times people say I hide it so well in front of everybody so that I can look perfect. Hell load, I think I am losing it, losing my ability to look perfect everytime.

We are all human beings and who doesn't want face and ego? Especially guys. Don't say guys. I myself I want to win. I have my own temper to shallow, a temper that not everyone can tolerate, and a strong character that challenges.

Every time when such similar incident or misunderstanding or arguement or whatever you called it happened, we solved it, made peace and then awhile later another incident will definitely arise again. Well, you know it's a whole load of challenge to tackle this kind of frequent conflicts again and again and again, and each time either one has to think of ways to break the ice and start a new conversation all over again.

And then to feel disappointed because it happened again.

If I am a pain, I think that friend is worse. Haha. I wish I can don't bother but too bad, I can't. Haha.

You know, sometimes I so wish I am still like a kid, and say to friends who upset me "hmph...i don't friend you anymore. tomorrow i won't share my barbie doll with you...i go home tell my mother then you know."
HAHAHA....

Alrighty, I need to wash up and sleep. Such nice weather to sleep in but I keep coughing. Meeting Cindy for tea later! On a lighter note, I love my "best friend". He brought me water cos I said my throat was almost dying and I felt he genuinely care. Love you dear! I hope your wifey doesn't read this. Haha.

And Happy Birthday to Jianling! =)

Good night and loves. :)

heading home, sweet.

Finally heading home later. feeling pretty much fatter than usual. All the indulgence... Haha..
It's good to meet up friends along the journey, you know sometimes when you reach Singapore you find it so hard to find a time together to catch up. Doing this flight with friends on board, met Julian in Japan, talked to the Ah Beng on phone across the universe ( okay la...not across but probably just the distance between Singapore and Tokyo. ha)

Well sometimes you know you only have that much to say, that amount of stand to comment. Other than that, you have to bear with the uneasiness and to make your own self realise you have to wake up and realise perhaps maybe it's just a phase or passer by story that somehow triggers your emotions, We are all moving on, each and everyday, all for the better. I guess so. :)

can't sleep in Japan

World's Greatest Superstar; Hollywood Best Girlfriend; Hollywood Best Ex-Girlfriend. Thank you for the awards. Hahaha...! =p

I can't get myself to sleep anymore. Had about 4hours of sleep and I am so widely awake now. So wanted to go to the opposite to buy MacDonald's breakfast but I am so lazy. Going for brunch later, or probably I shall just wait or? Contemplating sial...

*ROAR* I am invading Japan again. :)

a little bit of fun

Had a little bit of fun at Universal Studios, Los Angeles today.
Don't envy me.
:p

LAXation

Hello! I am in Los Angeles and have had a pretty long day. Now eating my dinner, sipping my japanese milk tea, resting my tired body (especially my legs), and gluing my eyes to my laptop. And the freaking thought of having to shower, blow dry hair and paint nails later just turn me off. BOooo...

The question mark(s) I have since a few days ago seem so much clearer now. Though subconsciously I still do very much think of it. Oh well, I come to realise there are actually so many things which are so beyond my reach. Maybe there will be a time pause somewhere in the future, for me, for you and for everyone else to re think what and who they really want in life and a second chance to own a new choice or a decision.

Likewise, when you have to constantly think and remind yourself how to communicate with certain people so that it benefits both parties. It's like even such simple relationship between 2 people can be such a chore. And then you start wondering to yourself, "what's wrong huh?"

I have lots more to say But I am so sleepy now. My eyes can barely open. Need a mini break before the shower. ;p Till much later okay? Muacks!

Much love

Much love, Tokyo.

:)

will be surprised

It's another working day in a few hours time. Off days never seem to be enough. But literally, I am contented. Met those whom I wanna see, perhaps only that tiny winy bit of indescribable disappointment, all in all, everything could have been better. But well, we shall see. What's yours, eventually will be yours. What's not meant to be, eventually will still run away, even if you beg and cry and mourn. Been telling myself not to be too harsh to myself. Let my heart goes. Maybe....I say maybe...I will be surprised. :)

Caught IP Man last night & it was indeed really good, like what most people and reviews said. Only to reach home this morning and fall asleep at 6ish. Almost wanted to sleep naked, cos the weather was too unbearable. Haha...

I used to think why can people do this, why can people do that, and then to realise actually me myself, I am not close to perfect either, and why should I judge people based on what they have done or what I have heard? I am not fitted anyway.

Well, have a great Saturday with your loved ones~:)

Didn't sleep well...

Didn't sleep well. My brain was like not resting, kept knocking thoughts into my mind. How disturbing. *ROAR*

For the first time, after so long, that I felt waking up, taking my first breathe of the day and facing the reality was such torturing. And to add on, the overwhelming weather is annoying.
*roll eyes*

So... What's for lunch today? ;p

courage

If I have the courage to hold it up right in the beginning, I should have the determination to put it down when the chapter ends.

Correct?

Bingo.

Good night people.

For a better tomorrow. :)

different heartbeat

Finally back home, but with a different heartbeat now.

I suppose there is really nothing I can do but to pretend everything hasn't changed, nothing has happened, and I am still the same me 8days ago, pumping the same heartbeat.

可是，我还是忍不住的难过了一下。

left behind

8days of work trip is finally coming to an end. It seems long yet short, you know those kind of self-contradicting statements? Last night was another round of drinking and more drinking, playing card games, coming up with funny and gross forfeits (you won't want to know), playing hide and seek, eating dinner together, crapping over stupid lame jokes and laugh for no reason.

Today....is just weird actually. Well, something we just don't have to take it seriously. It probably is just another chapter or small little story along the way. We are all heading home now, heading back to where and who we should belong to. Some memories are just meant to be kept and left behind.

Time to shower and get ready!
Muacks..=)

真心

在这五花八门的城市中，
我开始怀疑谁才是对我真心。

友情也好，爱情也好，
每个人的付出好像都是带着面具的。
尽管我是很想放心的去相信，
那虚伪的关心，
那不持久的真心，
也许也是一种爱。

可笑的是在旁的观众，
可悲的却是自己吧。

你的真心，你掉了吗?

超人不会飞

Love the new song! But I don't understand why they get that man to be the Superman. Abit off lei.. Was expecting Mr J to be the Superman himself. It's a wonderful song though. :p

warm & sunny

Hello! How's everyone out there? Frankfurt and New York are having very good weather. Warm and sunny, almost perfect for the upcoming summer. =)

And me? Bumped into a few friends overseas, all the HIs and BYEs, then there are so many alcoholics, and I had one of the worst hangover ever. Heading spinning the whole day, vomited many times, and I had such a hard time dragging myself out of the bed. Seriously don't fancy it, especially when I don't even remember what happened last night. And people started to tell you things that make me feel like slapping myself. ANYWAY, I just can't wait to go back Singapore on Wednesday evening. So missed being around, and I suppose to do a London right after I come back, but in the end, I change my mind. Money is never enough to earn. Need those precious times in Singapore to recuperate and meet the long awaited ones. :)

With love.

not disturbed

Did a Hongkong turn and a Bangalore turn for the past few days. It was a test of both my physical and mental capability. Company still called and asked me to volunteer for flight that day, pretty early in the morning (10ish is consider early for me. haha...), for Australia flight, Sydney and Melbourne she said, let me choose. And the best part she said "you know you don't have to do your tiring Indian overnight turn you know?.." I was like eh..."thank you very much... but I rather stick to what I have." Why give away my off days? But then again, if you are giving me Europe flights, I may be more than happy to help and offer my service. *laugh*

That day....has finally came and brought to known to me. Such mixed feelings... And I suppose it has to take place at a place where memories were kept the most.

Right. I am not disturbed. I am not disturbed. I am not disturbed. Full stop. ;)

Off to run some errands and do some packing... Gonna be away for another 8days work trip tomorrow. Have a great Tuesday everyone. Stay happy! =)

How can someone actually tell you he misses you, and has more feelings for you than the girlfriend, when he only just got attached recently?

Strange, Unbelievable.

You sure you like me?

Duh...

*roll eyes*

alone

As much as I feel, it doesn't matter to be alone. As much as I feel, one person you can still live an amazing life. But when you are alone for too long, you start to feel the loneliness and the frustration. You want to scream, you want to vent. You are going rounds and rounds in circle whereas others have already moved on way ahead of you. I am so wrong to say I am independent and it's perfectly okay to be alone. It's definitely fine to be a solo philosophy. But it's just pinches you that little bit, or maybe just a strange and weird evasion of feeling, that someone else is moving to the next phase of life, and you are still harping on the same spot. Perhaps not on the exact same spot, but maybe it's still within the vicinity. Silly.

Back from Taipei

Back from Taipei and going off to HongKong in a few hours time. Crazy work schedule. It was visit to the "Monga" streets and town, XiMenDing, Shilin night market, whole night of roaming on the Taipei streets, drinking beer at lounge and Macdonald supper in the room till late night. Can't wait for the HongKong turn to be over. Doing with my favorite batchboy again. Haha.

Life gets so busy that people hardly talk or meet now. Is it really time-constraint or people just don't make effort, quite enough?

两个人的荒岛

Off to Taipei later...
Not exactly excited but I will make do with it. =)

Anyway, caught S.H.E and 周定纬 - 两个人的荒岛 on the radio just now. That's sooooOOo love~ Hehe... Good night people.

May each and everyone of you find a source of love in your life, everyday, anywhere, anytime. Cos, love is great. :)

Asakusa

Asakusa...

But the cherry blossoms long dropped off.

Out for errands..Bye!

Monday lurve~

Quite a heavy downpour outside right now. Brother drove my car and I can't go anywhere. Been craving for chicken rice over the past few days and mummy is so sweet to buy me that for lunch. Awaken up to a wet weather plus a good whole packet of Singapore chicken rice, what else can I ask for? Maybe for my pimples to go away. Been haunting me for weeks, and every day when I look at the mirror, I get so demoralized. So tell me. what have I missed out over the past 8days when I was away? New relationships? New found loves? New goals? Haha.

A week of away with batchboy was so cool. A week of hanging out together, drinking, enjoying good food and snapping pictures away was so fun. Colleagues still thought we were an item despite our umpteen times of clarification. In the end, we just gave up. Haha. Nobody dared to sit beside me on bus, cos they said that's for batchboy. Ya la... Whatever.. *laugh*

Anyway, this is raman from Tokyo. I so love the EGG you know....! Yum~
*grin*



Monday lurve~ :)

Asahi

One of the Japan's Love. :)

Drop dead tired. I am home finally. =)

BITCH

Maybe.... it's so much better to be a BITCH sometimes. Even when people get on your nerve, you can just roar and be a BITCH and get away with it, without getting emotional, without bothering how the others would have felt, without worrying how people would have thought of you.

Be a BITCH is good.
Like seriously.
:)

from LAX

Hi! I am calling from Los Angeles, AGAIN. *stick out tongue* I was here like 2weeks ago. Time checked. Now is 2.40am. I am having weird sleeping pattern. After work, checking into the nice hotel room, thinking after shower and a short nap will just be nice to wakie in the late evening for dinner. I was so physically and mentally mind drained. So was batchboy and the rest. We continued sleeping and ignored our hungry stomachs! Haha... Food and sleep, seriously I would love to have both but if I could only have one, I rather sleep. And fancy now waking up at this hours, stuffing myself with fruit yogurt, green tea cookies, red bean dessert and milk tea, all from Japan. Hehehe... Oh so satisfied and I think I can go back to sleep anytime soon, and then to wake up in time for my American Breakfast. ;)

You know I always have this love-hate relationship with Facebook. I love it because you can see all your friends' updates even if you don't have time to contact, talk proper and meet. You get to know what's happening in their life in the daily recent and probably, you catch up with them on your own pace. I hate it because (maybe not exactly hate, but it's not an exactly nice or good feeling. it's more of a negative vibe that comes to you.) people don't tell you stuffs personally anymore. They might as well publish their thoughts and latest status in Facebook and let everyone else knows without having to informing each and everyone. Okay, it's quite a good communication outlet actually but I just feel it has lost that sense of human touch.

I come to know friends who are attached and I only realise it when I log in to Facebook. Not that I mind, not that it matters so much to me, but it has happened to me so many times. People whom you are somehow close, and hang out together for awhile, but because of job nature, people hardly meet, and then they have better chances of meeting other people when you are not around, and you are opened to more options and probably perhaps, slowly you will forget who and what you used to like. And then you move on to the readily available choices. Right?

Not that I really like or mind those who jumped into relationships during the week when I am not around, and then to found out myself through Facebook. I am left wondering, so.... feelings do fade over times huh? And it's so easily being replaced? No matter how much people claim their heart always skip a beat for you, no matter how much people claim how much they feel for you seem like a knot tied in the heart, no matter how much they claim the feeling for you is so breath-taking, somehow it can just change over the night.

But really, only to this point, I realise a lot of things don't work out and will never work out, if people never have the time to meet each other and talk proper, you find yourself detaching from the strong feeling you may use to have from certain people, and then to divert your attention and heartfelt feeling to the next new person who steps into your life. But hell I seriously understand. We are all human beings. Physical togetherness and communication play such huge important roles in relationships, and if you don't even have time for either one, be mindful that things will change, people will change and then you will wake up to a day of facts to realise that eh...actually those people who claim how much they like you how much they actually feel you have actually deteriorated, and people is getting over you.

I don't know what I am worrying for. I guess I am not. Hehe. Maybe that little tad of scare that people whom you care for, left you the last one to know everything, people whom you thought they sincerely do care for you, decided that the care they used to have for you have to be replaced and shift to someone else in their life now. And then you are left alone to update yourself with what's going through Facebook. Haha. I don't blame and I can't blame. I am guilty of that too. Arriving at every country, updating my Facebook status on my whereabouts, what's happening to me and who I have been missing. And sometimes I am wondering, who can live without Facebook? Haha....

Like what the fortune teller told me last time, I see it happening and happening all over again. It's a little hell load of scary, or should I always believe destiny and fate lie in my own hands?

My thoughts went wild again. But I tell you, my 6th sense is back. Really.
=)

Love, from LAX gmt-7.

属于我的原点

大家还好吗?
我最近有点小忙。
拼命的工作却没看见钱。
真是要命。
哈哈哈。。。

其实啊。。。
我这才发现原来越忙碌的我，内心越是特别寂寞。
真的很想放慢脚步，从新看这个世界。
也许我是真的应该找回属于我的原点，在那里从新出发。

我。。。很期待。

=)

MONGA

Caught this movie over the midnight hours.
Love it. =)

MONGA.

In paris

In paris. :)

window period

Hi! How's everyone doing? Not in the best of my time now. Crazy huge pimple that pops out on my "almost flawless" (*laugh*) cheek during my tokyo-los angeles trip, and it's still happily sticking with me right now and refuses to go away. Work hasn't been exactly that smooth, pretty much lately actually. I growing fatter and fatter, and when I always say I want to exercise and diet, I always give in to temptation. And I have not so helpful family and friends keep feeding me with food, probably they are thinking there might be a war soon and if I don't eat I may just starve to death and look so not pretty. I am already so not pretty now, with a pimple on the face, and a butt that takes up 2 seats. Okay. Please let me sound a little exaggerating can? *pout out tongue & roll eyes*

People whom I haven't spoken to for years can suddenly call me, and me, being so paranoid and realistic, the first I ask was "eh you wanna sell me insurance huh....haven't talk to you for so long and now you suddenly call me." He said..."I know I sound like an insurance agent but I am not la...I am an auditor okay...Just wanna meet you and catch up." I am like....oh so thinking...after so many years from poly days? Haha. Probably it's time to meet the unexpected. =)

Mandy so enlightened me about the "window period" thing. I think I won't have realised it until she said. Maybe some people may think we should decide our own fate. But frankly, I do believe everything has a time frame. It's an unspoken rule for everything in your life including the people that crossed path your destiny. After the window period, we will be back to square one again, and something else will come along and create another window period with you. There's a lot decisions making during these so called window periods. Cos you know once you pass the deadline, it's over. You missed it, it may be kind of hard to pull back that string of chemistry. So still part of it you are actually still creating your own fate, just in a given time frame. Fair enough? I guess so. We should all move away from those expired window periods, and stop even being that little bit of hopefulness for the slightest chance to extent the periods.
:)

Off to paris tonight. Just in time to be back on friday and to savour the weekend offs.

xoxo.

jeopardizing

There are times when everything seems to be so wrong, putting you in jeopardizing position. You sigh more than you smile. Even when you do pull your lip muscles so that they create an illusion of happy sign, you come to a point to even doubt yourself about the amount of genuine contentment in it.

How much to shallow, how much to tolerate?

Tighten my jaws. And tell myself...

Embrace...and Be Strong.!

=)