Send my car for servicing. And I am waiting for it to be ready. Seriously, I am getting a little impatient. Hot and thirsty. I want my Starbucks!

Aimlessly

At a hair salon right now. Fancy bumping into colleagues here too. Been feeling pretty aimless, so I aimlessly walked into a random salon, just trying to find some things to do. *cover mouth and giggle*

Has it really been too long that I or rather we, deep down somewhere in us, feel somehow it seems pointless or meaningless for a substantial conversation on the equilibrium? Has it been so long enough that we are actually used to it? As much as I didn't want it to happen, I know it has been long enough for me to forget and move on. Are we going to follow the protocols again and again or should we just leave everything behind us and carry on with our individual lives?

Hungry for dinner by the way.
;p

就想赖着你

Was spending the last 2hours watching 就想赖着你 on YouTube, and then to brood over the facts that why I never meet guys like Jerry in my life yet. Ha. People always say tv soap dramas are made to deviate us from the reality. It is a sign to tell us fairytale only happened on the screens. And in real life, love is just made to fit into the missing denomination of the love equation. But, I still naively believe fairytale do happened in the reality.

Every time when I thought someone is different from the rest, I would always be proven wrong in the end. Whoever someone I thought can be different is actually the same just like anyone else. Just a penny of thought, there are things in life and actions we carried out which might put us in jeopardizing positions. And they always left us in illusions and dilemmas.

Maybe we used to think a lot of things can start all over again, and feelings can be the same once again, without realising we have actually all changed. There are some dialogues which can seem a little too late to begin. Maybe certain things are better off by not explaining?

*scratch head* What kind of stupid random thought is this at this hour?
Silly...damn..
Night loves.

the Karate Kid

Caught the Karate Kid and I thought it's very good. Please go catch the movie if you haven't ok? Cathay offering $6 per ticket if you pay by nets. So just go. Don't bother to buy dvd or download it online. It's definitely worth the money. *grin*

No more red

No more red nails for the next 5days! Happy. =p

Suddenly, it all felt like it has been nothing but just a dream all this while. All those that happened lately, they were just parts and pieces of the dream. I supposed to wake up much earlier but I kept running and somehow I just lost my way in the dream. Then, I fell down and I was forced to wake up.
还忘了要怎么喊痛. HA!

没事了.

meL~

iPhone entry...

First time trying to blog using my iPhone. And I think it's so freaking cool! Haha. I have been doing some reading, trying to make my eyes tired so that I can sleep. It's almost 5 now and I still feel very awake. *roar*.

Off to Melbourne later in the evening, coming back on Tuesday afternoon and I will have a few days of break from work. I can't wait. I have a sudden detest to put on those blue uniforms. A short break will be good. I guess so. :)

Thank you for putting up with my emotional postings for the past weeks. Been feeling very attention-needy. Pretty angry with myself. Some thoughts and logic just seem hard to straighten out. But I am working on them. Soon, very soon, everything should be able to fall in their rightful places again. =)

Been sleeping at 7 odd hours in the morning for the past 2 days. Madness.

Thank you for the calls and talks on the phone.

:)

It's getting ridiculous. Extremely ridiculous.

此刻。。。我才发现连说真心话的对象都没有了。

Maybe like what R said to me that day...."yolene, i think you should seriously go consider and think about what you really want in your life...don't 到处留情...ultimately, you may realise there is actually nothing left eventually. you are left with nothing, nobody..."

It so felt like a wake up call, a tight slap on the face. 到处留情? *laugh*

Well, 以为自己很厉害...
原来勇敢，坚强
没那么容易.

what's lost?

My brother just came home with the friends from partying, all smell like freaking alcoholics, and one of the friends yelled and said, "sis, your bro acted so dao just now...so many girls wanted his numbers just now but he acted so dao..." I replied..."ya la...you mean you guys don't know meh? he's a gay. *laugh*" Crazy bunch of guys. Lol. And now they just slammed their way out for supper. *roll eyes..* All heading to Amsterdam then to Sweden tonight for some training. My mum will have peace for weeks. =p

Was back in the evening after 8days. Freaking tired that I kept falling asleep. Eat, sleep, watch tv, sleep again, wake up eat supper, then sleep again, then shower, online and then to hear the guys storming into my house.

I know all the problems and worries won't go off by themselves but on my hand, I seriously have no idea what to do, what step to carry out next. Things just so happened consecutively, and it feels like it's all pre-planned ahead, all in joint forces to go against me.

I think this time... I have really lost...

ultimate

Frankfurt New York is like a taboo flight. As much as I love these two cities, every time nearing the end of the trip, it always makes me feel some kind of down. A kind of unspoken emotional tension that seems to be pulling me apart somehow.

Was too confident, arrogant to think I can conquer every thing I want and then to realise the ultimate loser is actually myself.

Such a laughing stock.

Had some beer and champagne last night, and now waking up with uclers in my mouth. :( Eating my favourite yogurt now, while waiting for someone to return from gym and go lunch together. I am quite amazed at myself for not buying things for myself this trip, even though I claim I want to buy the luxury brands in Frankfurt in favor of the low Euro. Hahaha... Good la... Save $$ hehe. Bought stuffs for mummy though. :)

messed up

Messed up thoughts.

And everything just seems so messed up.

Like suddenly....

I am in deep shit.

You mean in this whole wide world, there is not a single soul worth you trusting and believing?

And you know...

Just when I need someone to listen, and then to realise you are not there...

This is a damn bad month, seriously.

loving NYC

Enjoying and loving New York, at this very moment. Though the weather is ridiculously hot, the company is great. I didn't buy anything, like yet? I am so amazed with myself. Everyone got some shopping bags on their hands and where's mine? Haha... Save the money for Frankfurt, for the luxury brands. =p

Sometimes you don't even bump into friends in Singapore, but I just bumped one in New York. How cool is that? Heh...

Some things just don't require any closure. So let them be. Just realise over torturing myself with all those unnecessary emotions are like so silly. Who would care about how I could have felt? Not even the ones whom I thought they somehow matter very much. Well, this is part of growing up I guess. So yes, please grow up Yolene.

I ate the above after gym. Tell me about exercising... *grin*

*yawn*

Good night and till New York!

傻人会有傻福

我很好! =)

Though still not very smart enough, ling told me it's okay.
傻人会有傻福. ;p

Blame my stupidity if you want, I find it damn hard to understand a lot of things.
但起码我有感觉.
我知道什么叫痛. :)

Off to the gym for now~

bye loves, gmt+2 fra.

钻牛角尖

I still remember yesterday I was saying waking up to a new tomorrow everyday is the best gift for now. Not giving myself a single chance to harbour hope on things and people that are impossible. It was a mistake to begin with anyway. And I swear I never ever have the intention to ruin the present life and status of other people.

But it's always like that. When you are determined to get out of the emotional trap, somehow or rather it will still come back to you and try to pull you in all over again. Well, it's a little too much to think now. Haha. But the thoughts just keep coming. *laugh*

Well, actually I am feeling quite calm and comfortable now. I am thinking to myself, perhaps, 有些东西其实我并没有那么喜欢. It could have been just an illusion to substitute my loneliness? Maybe lei. You never know... Lol...

And so sorry, I am not smart enough to wake up one day to come to my realisation about certain things. I am quite stupid, seriously. I have huge difficulty understanding issues and logics in life. It's such a pity but I am that stupid, really. I suppose there's a price to pay for every single action we do, every decision we make. And maybe to a point there is no turning back. Maybe we will all feel the lost, maybe we will all only then realise how important certain people are actually to us. But a lot of things could be too late. The faith has died. The trust has died. We have died. Talking is expensive, or rather communication is too luxurious for poor people like us? Frankly, I really wish I am smarter.

:)

Like what Jade said, I shouldn't 钻牛角尖 anymore. I will be much happier. Back to work, it was tiring, having to sleep only 3 hours at home before work. I am tired, hungry and I can feel my sore throat coming back. Frankfurt having some public holiday now and shops are all going to be closed tomorrow. Hell loads of boredom. I hope I can spot a cafe that is opened tomorrow. I will bring my book, sip a cup of cappuccino and eat my cheesecake. Sound ideally. Heading to the gym in the morning or evening sounds good too huh? Heh. Alright my eyes super need to close and rest now.

Take care people, where ever you are. :)

I am not a saint.

I am not emo-ing over anyone. Basically, many people think I am. I am just full of emotions. I am not a saint. I will feel sad. I will feel angry. I will feel happy. And I cry when it's overwhelming. I have all kinds of feelings. I am not a superwoman, really too bad.

After the sleep tonight, I will be back to the true reality tomorrow. I won't live in self-denial. I won't get upset over people who aren't worth. I won't want to think what's going to happen next. I won't want to guess the future. I won't want to analyze how my friendship/relationship will turn out with certain people. It's too tiring. Everyday waking to a new tomorrow is the best gift for now.

Good night people:)

anticipation

Off days were spent having dinners with friends, running errands. but why am I feeling so drained out? It so seems like many things happened lately, trivial ones, big ones, all make me so emotionally drained out. So much so as I tried to claim to everyone and even myself that I am super OKAY, it just suddenly feels that hard to breathe. Perhaps, maybe, I don't have to be that strong actually. Cry out loud if I have to, laugh out hard when I feel like it. So what if the whole world is looking? Haha...

Off to my 8days Frankfurt New York work trip tomorrow. Not much anticipation, no expectation. Hope the work trip is good. If the mood is there, probably I will snap some shots along the journey and post them up here.

Someone told me last night, when there is no reciprocation, you can't expect the person to wait forever. The person has to move on and find someone else who reciprocates back the care and concern. You can't be that selfish you know? Yeah...exactly. Well, just some random thoughts la. Hehe...

Alright, will be back soon. I hope everyone out there is safe, healthy and happy. :)

Love.