for the special someone

A letter for you... maybe the last letter from me to you, for now, at least.

I know you may never read this. But I still need to write it down somewhere, just for you.

To tell you the truth, it wasn't easy for the past few months. I imagined your presence, I reminisced our memories, I had buckets of tears and many sleepless nights. Many many times, I missed you so much. I tried to occupy myself with work and friends. I looked strong. I appeared non-chalent. Everyone just thought that I seem to move on very well. But it all came with a hope. A secret hope that was deep inside me that tells me that you will come back to me. The belief that you will look back when everything else settles. I dare not say it out. I dare not tell anyone. Because I know they gonna say I am stupid, silly, desperate, the ex-girlfriend whom refused to let go and blah blah blah.

There were times when I thought I can fall in love again with a new person. I tried and I failed. Just because of the secret hope, the secret belief that I kept holding inside me. I had already grieved over the lost of you for the past months. The sorrows, the bittness are too much to bear now. I think.....I don't want to fight the battle anymore. I know you have already moved on. I know you have already recovered way before me. I was the only one who was lagging behind, thinking of every single possibilty that may bring us back together.

Many times when I see you, I really so much want to hug and tell you that I miss you but I just can't do it anymore. I have lost the courage. The kind of courage that I used to have when we first started 2 years ago.

I guess it's time to stop all these. Certain things just can't go back to the original beginning. Like the one thing that you used to tell me when we just parted. You said you couldn't find any reason why we should go back to the way we were before.

Reason. Do we really need a reason to love a person?

悲伤到这里就好了。我累了。我不要在等了。

我会很好。你也会很好。

我们都会各自幸福下去。

我不会忘记你，也不会忘记曾经的我们。

希望你会找到一个比我更爱你的人。

我们就到这。。。