Thursday, December 30, 2004
Had an appointment with Agnes today to pluck my eyebrows. After trying different places for my eyebrows trimming, I still trust Agnes from The School of Makeup the most. Heh. I quite like her lar. I think she's a very pretty & stylish lady. Everytime when I see her, she'll portrait a different image. The last time I saw her she had this cool & chic look. (That was like 2 months ago?) Today she was like so sweet-looking with some of her fringe pinned up. Hee. You'll never believe she's a mother of 2 because she has a very slim figure! Awww..... Envy sia. Hope I'll be like her next time when I'm somebody else's mummy. =p
The 1st thing she said when she saw me today was "Eh, Alan's cousin lei. Want to come & see?" Then my cousin's classmates all came out & inspected me from top to toe like an alien. I heard & got replies like, "Very pretty leh.", " Really Alan's cousin huh? Don't look like him lei. (Of course we don't look like each other. He's not my brother.)", "Wah, very tall ar.", etc. Haha. I was like super duper paiseh. My cousin's learning makeup there & he's the ONLY so called guy there. Well, people already treat her like jiemei. You get what I mean? Heh. Yeah. But he's a very nice guy & he has the looks somemore. Too bad. He doesn't like girls. ;)
Pampered myself with retail therapy again. Love being pampered & yet feeling sinful at the same time. Grrrr...... Contradicting myself again. Nvm. New Year's coming. I have got an excuse to do shopping & buy things. Haha. (I guess I'm just consoling myself. =p)
Do you still like me like you ever do?
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
In case I die tomorrow (touchwood), I love you folks.
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
We have been close friends since secondary three. Everybody in my secondary school knew we were very good friends & everytime when people were looking for Evie & they saw me, they would ask me where is she & vice versa. Whenever there was a class chalet, bbq or outing, we would usually ask each other, "You want to go or not? You go then I go." That is how close we are. Something like that. Haha.
Anyway, she has been a really great friend to me all these years. She is so pretty, cute, stylish, nice & whatever flattering vocabulary you can think of for her & I just don't understand why she is still single & available. =p
We may not be as close & as sticky as we used to be when we were in our secondary school's days now but I want to let you know how much you mean to me & meeting wonderful people like you make my life so much nicer. I wonder if our friendship will remain just as strong in the future, especially when we are all busy with our own things & personal lives. Nevertheless, you will always have a special place in my heart. The laughters, the tears, the gossips & the time we spent together are simply unforgettable. Thank-you for everything!
P/s: Evie, don't cry. Opps. Heh. You should be honoured & flattered that this post is written just for you & only you. Haha. By the way, I feel safe with your driving. =)
Monday, December 27, 2004
After a few hours of shopping, we went Crystal Jade La Mian Eatery at Ngee Ann City for dinner. Wow! I think we really know how to enjoy life, enjoy good food. Hehe. Eat & eat & eat & eat. I still want to stay slim lei. How to? Lol. Anyway, 2 thumbs up for the food! They were really superb. We ordered & shared a bowl of vegetable wantons la mian, xiao long baos, crispy carrot puffs, pork dumplings, a bowl of glutinous rice balls with sweet wine & chinese tea. This good friend of mine ar, always makes me feast & shop a lot. Haha. But I enjoyed myself lar. Eat. Shop. Eat. Shop. =p
No more work. I have been home almost the whole day today. Except for the time that I went to "da bao" food & the time that I went gyming. Gym was not very good & productive today. I almost vomitted after I ran my 20 min of treadmill. The feeling was freaking terrible. I stayed in the toilet for quite long in case I might just vomit anytime. EeEwWw..... Gross.
My room still not done yet. Shall continue to tidy again tmr. Sianz.... By the way, do you know what to do with all the old magazines? I realise I have got a lot of magazines & they actually take up quite a lot of space. What can I do with them? Throw or what? Give me your suggestions. ;p
Uh-huh. 5 more days to 2005. Guess it's time for me to set some new year's resolutions. Yup. I shall go think & post them up soon. :)
Alright. I shall go bath now & watch my SCV after that. Maybe read a book after my SCV too. Haha. I shall see how. Hee. Yup. Cya guys!
I'm beginning to realise that I'm right about you. You are just a JERK.
Sunday, December 26, 2004
Had steamboat for dinner with my family. The food was great. But I didn't eat too full because I was to go & meet my friends for dinner at Compass Point after my steamboat feast. Heh. I had my 2nd dinner at Mos Burger with the girls. We sat outside the restaurant & surprisingly it was quite nice to eat & chill out there. Hee. Anyway, it was really wonderful to meet up with my close friends. Very seldom the 5 of us can make it together at the same time. Normally it's like only 3 or 4 of us can make it for the catching up session. It was really enjoyable being with the girls just now. The chatting, updating, chilling, pictures taking were really fun. I think it doesn't matter where we are. It's the people that make the difference. =) Hope to see you girls again & make sure it's real soon manz!
P/s: Evie, faster upload the pictures okay? ;p
Saturday, December 25, 2004
Chatted. Recapped the past memories. Crushes, boyfriends, flings, friends & everything. I was surprised at how times past. Every picture every scenario every happening still seems so apparent after so many years. But somehow things are different, feelings have changed. I can only rely on my memories.
Grapevine was not bad too. Baked chicken with stewed mushrooms & mashed potatoes & strawberry frappe. I was freezing cold last night. *Shivers. Drove back & reached home at 11.5 something. A few minutes before X'mas. Dreadfully tired.
Slept at 3am & woke up at 11am. I'm still feeling as sleepy as ever. I'm always deprived of sleep. Shall go & tidy my room soon. So much things to clear. My mum is nagging. Maybe meeting some friends later or what. Gonna have steamboat tonight with my family. I guess so. Heh.
Merry X'mas to you guys. May this X'mas blessed you with lots of love. =p
I gave you my heart
But the very next day
You gave it away
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone SPECIAL
Friday, December 24, 2004
I got 2 presents & tons of blessings & wishes from my colleagues today. I felt kinda ermmm...... I don't know. Like what I had said earlier on, indescribable feeling. I shall pop by then when I'm free. I may miss them. I mean maybe some of them.
Oh. A friend gave me a lovely hp's accessory today. Thanks girl!
So the guy colleague didn't take my contact. Uh-huh. I think he thought I'm attached already. Haha. Anyway, I'm quite pissed with something that he said to me today. We were talking about driving licenses & cars. He told me he actually has a car but he parks it at home because it's quite expensive to pay the parking fees if he drives to work. & when he knew my driving license will turn 2 yrs old next year, he said to me, "Huh? You have got license for almost 2 yrs & you don't even have a car now?" Yeah right. So what if I don't have a car now? Are you gng to buy for me? I don't mind you see. Frankly speaking, it's not easy & cheap to support a car. You'll be surprised by how much you may save if you take the public transport instead. But I also don't deny that a car's definitely very convenient. When you have your own transport, you can go anywhere as & when you like w/o worrying whether is there any cab at this hour on the road, whether is there still any MRT service at this late hour, etc. So it's actually a both sides issue. It depends on how you look at things & how you perceive the respective values. I also want a car but who's gonna buy for me? My dad? I do hope he surprises me on my 21st Bday next yr but that's gonna be a hard. Haha. Maybe I shall just get a car myself when I have the financial ability. Probably you'll feel greater staisfaction because the car is bought with your own $$$. =p (But somehow if someone volunteers to buy a car for you, why not? You don't have to spend your own $$$. Ah-haha. I'm contradicting myself.)
Santa Claus is coming to town. Haha. Nighty!
Thursday, December 23, 2004
People start giving me prezzies today & I only got a prezzie for a colleague who got me the bag. She was the one who interviewed me when I went for the job interview & I'm so called under her. If there's anything, I'll just go to her. So ya. I didn't get for the rest. But I also don't know what to get for them also. So many of them. I shall just give them my greeting with my sweetEST voice before I leave the office at 5pm today. Bleah. =p
You know everytime when you enter a gym, you're supposed to write down your name, i/c no., receipt no., etc on the booking-in list at the gym counter. This cute boy was standing in front of me. Hehe. After he had finished writing down his pariculars on the booking-in list, I was next & I saw his i/c no. when I was filling my particulars. The i/c no. begins with 86...... That makes him 2yrs younger than me! Such a shame! So sad right? Haha.
Actually I noticed that he did notice me as well while we were inside the gym studio. Or am I too over-sensitive already? Haha. People may just start telling me age is not a problem & blah blah blah but to me it's still a predicament. One way or another I do doubt guys' maturity. But somehow I do realise & understand why some girls aren't bother by the age issue. Just like my bro's gf who's 1 yr older than he's. The magic is called LOVE. When you really love that special someone, who cares right? Heh.
When I left the gym, I saw this malay couple. The gf was wearing heels & I overheard that she was complaining to her bf that her legs were painful. You know what the bf do? He swapped his sneakers with his gf's heels! The whole picture was really interesting! Haha. The bf was like having some difficulties to walk because the heels was way too small for him. The gf wanted to swapped back but the bf refused. So sweet right? Heehee. I mean this small act might not be anything big or romantic but to me I think it really shows the love between the couple. You can sense how much the bf loves his gf. Awwww............. SoOoOoOo sweet huh?! :)
Now I know why love is BLIND. Lol.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
1. Sign in to your hotmail account and change your personal profile in the Options as following:
Country: United States State: Florida. Choose another state if you want. - http://www.50states.com/
Zip Code: 33332. Choose another zip code if you want. - http://www.downloadzipcode.com/
2. Then get to the Language options and make it English if it's not.
3. Paste the link below into the address bar and click "Close my account". Thus your account will be deactivated.
4. Now visit the address http://www.hotmail.com again. Enter your username and password. The activation page will load. Activate your email account.
5. You're done ! Now your email account capacity has grown to 25 MB and in a month or so it will be 250 MB. Enjoy your "enlarged" hotmail account!
By the way, after you have reactivated your account & got the 25MB account space, you can easily change the country back to Singapore. It's not a problem. :) Don't have to worry about your inbox & contacts as well. Everything will still remain the same except that your account space has increased! :p
I'm still thinking what to buy for her. Gotta get the prezzie by today. Well, she's in her mid-thirties so what you guys think I can get for her? I think she has everything lar. Being a personal secretary to the CEOs, I think she must be paid quite well. Hee. I may just get her some chocolates or cookies. Chocolates & cookies are nice for X'mas, aren't they? Heh. Actually, I think she needs a boyfriend or maybe I should say she deserves one. I mean she's such a nice lady & she's not even attached at her tender age now. Guys are really blind sometimes. There was one Friday whereby she dressed up herself till very pretty to work. I thought she was gng dating after work. So I asked her in her teasing tone, "Today wear till so nice, later gng out with who huh?" She replied in a fairly sad tone saying that, "I got no date lei. No one dates me. Hai....." I felt kinda of bad actually to have tease & ask her that question. Guilty me.
Tmr will be my last day of work at Coperion. Wonder what's Coperion? Check out www.coperion.com I'm not feeling extremely happy lar but I'm just glad that I can still get some rest before my sch starts in January. Work's slacked here for me most of the times. I have got a lot of freedom to do my work at my own pace. The people here are generally nice. Probably I gonna miss some of them. Grins~
I know many of you are astonished at my wishlist. Actually I have more to add. I just don't wanna scare you people further. Haha. Ohhhh, in fact I should have included in my wishlist that I wish for a BOYFRIEND. Wahahahahaha. You don't need $$ to buy a boyfriend right? Alright. You guys shall just keep a lookout for me. Make sure he's rich enough so that I can get him to fulfil my wishlist. Lol.
Lynn was suggesting that we could hold our 21st birthday's celebration together since our birth dates are so near. I don't mind. Maybe a 3 days 2 nights or 2 days 1 night chalet. I don't know. BBQ at East Coast & Pasir Ris don't seem that nice huh because you don't really have a roof to stay over. Get me? Hmmmm...... Some people will just hold bashs at some pubs or something. I'm really running out of ideas. Any suggestion?
I just receive an email from my HR manager. Tmr everyone can leave the office at 5pm because of the annual D & D event. The normal official time to leave the office is 5.45pm. 45 mins? Does it make any difference? I'm not gng anyway. Shall go do some last min shopping. Hee.
Okie. I shall blog again. Byeeee peeps!
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
1. A new side bag for sch (Preferably something sporty or attitude)
2. A new bag for shopping
3. A pair of Levis jean
4. A pair of Guess jean
5. Adidas jacket
6. Canon Ixus 40
7. Handphone (But I got no handphone in mind to buy)
8. A pink mini
9. A white mini
10. A demin mini
11. A pair of Adidas sneakers
12. A new lappy (Plsssss :p)
13. Triumph Bras (Hahaaa)
14. Triumph Brazilians ( Heee)
15. Sophie Kinsella's books
17. The new Adidas water bottle (I want black colour)
18. A black tiny pokka dots print dress from Mphosis
19. A Guess watch (I can tell you which design I want)
20. More nice tops
21. More sandals
22. Ipod Mini
23. Amore's membership
26. Beach shorts
27. Beach sandals
28. Ralph Lauren Romance
29. Good figure (Slimming & firming creams, packages, etc Haha)
30. Good complexion (Maybe I need some SK II pdts :p)
31. More $$ (!!!!!)
My list shall just goes on & on & more & more. Lol. I don't wanna reveal my size here. If you are really so nice that you wanna buy me the clothes, we shall discuss privately. Heh.
Do you want to be my Santa Claus?
Sunday, December 19, 2004
Met Lynn for some shopping & dinner. Had Genki Sushi. Yummy! Heehee......
Went kbox today. There was this 1 for 1 promotion for M1 customers. It was okay lar but I didn't really like the attitudes of the kbox's staffs. Caught Phantom Of The Opera in the evening. It was really splendid! Something quite different. So ya. Worth watching. ;) Ohh...... I don't know what's happening in Orchard now. Serious traffic & human jams. So terrible. It's a Sunday & I thought most people gotta work the next day?
Don't know why I don't feel like blogging much today. So everything I wrote above was kinda succinct. Heh.
I'll blog more when I have the mood.
Love me or hate me. There's not in between.
Saturday, December 18, 2004
Colleagues were nice today. Some of them discussed & chatted with me about my future dngs & stuffs & there was one colleague who knew I was down with the flu disease & he purposely went to buy starfruit juice for me in which he claimed that starfruit is gd for throat. Is that so? Haha. But anyway, I was really touched. Don't be misunderstood. He's around my dad's age. I think he's just treating & caring me like his daughter. Haha. There's another guy colleague whom I think everytime when he walks past my table or walks past me, the look he gives me is kind of different from the others. He also mentioned to me that we must exchange contacts before I leave the company so that we can keep in touch. I almost felt telling him ,"Do not like me. I'm attached." but what if he says, "When did I say I like you?" then I would be damn paiseh & I could just go dig a hold & hide myself inside. Haha. People mean no harm so nvm. Heh. Oh ya. Some delivery guys were praising me today. Haha. Shall not mention it here cos it's really nth. I'm a humble girl. :)
Wan Rong's 21st Bday's celebration this evening & I'm still thinking to go or not. It's like we have not seen each other for so long & there'll be many other people & friends whom I have not seen & have lost in touch for very long. I wonder how's everything will be like. So it's like to go or not to go? If I'm not gng, probably I'll be gng out to get some prezzies for friends. I'm gonna make a decision. Hmmmm........
Actually this entry was typed 1/2 way last night but I was too tired to continue. So this's like a continuation entry from last night. I'm gng to end now. Go brush up & maybe heading to the gym. (but I feel so lazy....:/) Ciao.
Feelings just developed w/o u knowing you.
Friday, December 17, 2004
Actually I'm beginning to feel quite skeptical about my new sch. Everything seems so unfamiliar & I don't feel a single sense of belonging in the new place. I'm beginning to doubt my decision. Am I dng the right thing? Even if I'm not, I can't do anything now. If I decide to withdraw from the course, I won't be able to get my $$ back. I think I must re-ensure myself that I'm dng the right thing. Come to think of it, I'll be a degree holder in 1.5 yrs time. Sound not too bad either right? I really hope everything will be right when the school starts. I just wanna score well & get my degree & then pursue my dreams & do all the things that I wanna do when I'm still young. A new stage of life. 1.5 yrs. Time passes.
I was watching Channel 5 8pm tv show, "Carlsberg World Of Friends" just now & Leslie Kwok was in the debut! I have got this special liking for him all along because he's simply too cute, too handsome, too charming & too irresistable! Haha. Rich & handsome. I don't mind even if he's 10 yrs older than I'm. Heh. By the way, do you know who is Leslie Kwok? I think someone doesn't know huh? Lol. Ermmm.... There's a picture of him anyways.
Not a very clear pic but believe me, he is damn cute. Heehee.
Ok. Ok. It's very late. I still gotta work tmr. But yeah. It's a Friday! Hee. Night!
Thursday, December 16, 2004
I think I'm really getting a little apprehensive & cynical about the people who are walking behind me. I always have this feeling that the SICKO is somewhere nearby & he's watching me. Perhaps, I'm just over-senstive but I just can't stop myself from behaving & feeling this way. I'm beginning to get cognizant about my situation right now. I want to be as carefree as possible like before w/o having to think whether if there is any idiot stalking behind me. Psychological problem. He stalked me yesterday's evening. I didn't give him a damn. He could do his whistling & stalking & I just continued my walking. I guess I'm long blinded by all his dngs.
Gng for my new school's orientation later. So ya, I'm taking 1/2 day leave. Will meet Emily for lunch then we'll head to school together. Wonder how's & what's the orientation is all about. Will update more about it tonight. :)
If time is affordable later, maybe I'll pop by for a walk at Ngee Ann. It's has been so long since I ever step into the building. Miss some of the canteen food & actually I do miss some of the lecture halls & tutorial rooms. Weird me. Hee.
I'm missing those days when we had to run our ways to lecture halls when we were late for lectures especially those 9am lectures. Anyway, I was blacklisted so to speak. I thought I was seldom puntucal for most of the lectures & when you were late, it could be quite paiseh when you open the lecture halls' doors because everybody would turn their heads & look at you. I would normally msg my classmates in advance asking them where they were seated & asked them to book a seat for me. Hee. What's more? Smsing during lectures, chit-chatting & not paying attention in the lectures, scribbling notes on the lectures' notes, passing sweets around, bio-ing other people in the lecture halls & commenting on their dressings. Haha.
Not dng tutorials & came to class the next day to copy from classmates or get the answers from the tutors when they were discussing the tutorials in class. Projects dicussions, projects meetings, project deadlines, etc. ~Giggles~
Just something to share. Sometimes we or rather me will purposely go to certain canteen for lunch on certain day, certain timing because I know I may see that somebody there. Do you get me? Haha. But that's what we called life about poly lar. You need all these small little happenings to spice up your poly's life. Some more poly's life is really short. 3 years are indeed nothing. Shoo....... There it goes my 3 years in Ngee Ann. I have never regretting getting into there but just a tiny-winy bit of sadness & regretful that there were a lot of things that I gave up, I didn't treasure, I didn't do or I didn't get to achieve during my poly's days.
Right. The time now is 10am. I shall wait PATIENTLY for 12pm to come to that I can go off & I shall also wait PATIENTLY for my deadly flu & sore throat to recover.
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
SICKO again. Don't wanna elaborate. I scare I'll bore you guys to death. Heh. Anyway, I'm kind of used to it already. Will update if there's any new happening.
I think I need to get my figure into shape. Was watching Channel U Taiwan variety show, GuessX3. I envy those "dancing queens" who have really good figures & nice dance moves. Their abs are like so flat & toned. Wah, it's time I need to do something about it. I shall exercise more. Haha.
By the way, I'm ending my work with my company next Thursday. They are closed on Christmas Eve so I don't have to work on Friday. Cool right? Heh. Still planning what to do for Christmas Eve & Christmas Day. Hmmm.....
Time for bed. Bless me with a healthy body & mind tmr. Gd night.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Bumped into the SICKO again when I was returning home in the evening! How lucky am I huh? Initially I walked very fast & then I turned back & shouted at him, "Wei, you still followed me?". He quickly walked away & crossed the road to the opposite bus-stop. I think he is quite scared of me. Haha. My parents were telling me just now not to bother him. Maybe he is really SIAO, the more he knows you bother him, the more he will try to catch your attention. Emily told me this too. Somehow quite true but I just wanna see how he die. Yes. I'm evil. Getting evil. Force to be eviled by circumstances.
Went to the gym after dinner. I love exercising. Hee. Make me feel some what better. But....... I was quite pissed off with a guy. Ok. I was wearing my sec sch PE t-shirt. The material has became rather thin after so many years of washing & wearing but I just simply love the t-shirt cos it's really comfy & I love my sec sch! (like real?) Lol. Nah. I really love my sec sch. There were so many wonderful memories. Heh. Back to topic. I was wearing a black bra inside. Actually I thought it wasn't very obvious afterall & some more so what if people notice it? It's only a bra. After exercising, I was making my way to the ladies & I walked past a group of guys & 1 of them was passing the remark, "Black bra wor" quite loudly. At least I could hear it. I thought it was rather insulting & childish. You are so big & don't tell me you have never seen a bra that in black in colour & you are acting like a kiddo. Behaving as if you are a real hunk that every girl will go after. Puke.
I have really seen a lot of NOT NICE guys recently. Guys, don't let me hate you, don't let me lose faith in you ok? I really don't want. :p
Something to "hao lian" a bit. Lol. There was this lady from York Hotel that came to my company this afternoon to pass some documents to my colleague. While waiting for my colleague to come out to meet her, we chatted. She commented that I look like a japanese & I'm so pretty. Haha. She said I look so young & when I told her I'm 20, she was quite shocked & she said she thought I'm only 18. Haha. How I wish I'm 18. How I wish I'm 18 every year. Hee. Ok la. Like what I have always said. Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.
I promised my dad just now that I would sleep early today. I broke our promise. The time now is 1.37 a.m. I gtg anyways. Good night!
Sunday, December 12, 2004
People seem to be recognising me on the street as an ex-SGSS student. The strange thing is I don't even seen them before in sch & they actually know some info about me. How weird? Anyway, they are no dudes & they are 1 yr my junior. Heh.
Caught Star Awards 2004 on TV just now. Everything is kinda predictable. Fann is pretty as usual. I love her hair colour! So nice & radiant! I sort of regretted that I dye my hair yesterday or else I would have wanted to dye her hair colour. Haiya..... Nvm. Next time. If nearing CNY time I can afford it & my hair conditon is good, I may consider dng. Heh. Spotlight is on Fann & Christopher during the last 1/2 an hr. So purposely but their relationship is an open secret anyways.
It's soOoOoOo SIAN especially when you are sick. :/
Saturday, December 11, 2004
April actually asked me to go China Black to be the party girl. Haha. To dance & lose weight. Her motives to go partying. Lol. I told her I was still in e mid of dng my hair & she said she would get back to me later but she never. April how could you? But I also didn't call & ask her too lar. Perhaps I should have done so. Then I wouldn't be blogging so early tonight. Heh.
Suddenly, I miss driving in the night, eating supper with my dearies & chit-chatting about anything under the moon with them. I really do. :)
Well, I coloured & cut my hair today. It was quite satisfactory until now cos I have yet to wash my hair again after I had finished with my hair-dng. Lol. Hopefully tmr after I washed my hair, it won't turn out to be a disastrous. :p
Went Pasir Ris Park with my parents after dinner. Only the 3 of us cos my brothers had their own dates & I didn't have one tonight! GrRrRrR..... 3 of us. So unromantic. I was like the spoiler. Hee. But it was pretty enjoyable afterall. We took a long scroll, chatting about the restaurants, scenarios & people along the way, looking at people fishing & playing with swings! I love swings so much. I think it feels really great to be swung so high up in the sky. I did it myself ok. Ok la, my dad helped me to jump-start e 1st move. Haha. Wanted to play the see-saw as well but the kids were occupying them. :/ Being such a BIG, NICE & PRETTY sister, I let them play lor. Heh. My mum told me that my dad used to bring her to Pasir Ris Park to "Pak Tor" during their courtship period & she commented that it was a really good place for couples because at night so dark nobody sees. Haha. She said next time I can come with my bf. My mum so cute! Haha.
Bathing time..... Shoooo.....
I can climb
All the mountains that surround me
My spirit's there, where eagles dare to fly
In my heart
There's a spark
That can light the world around me
An open door, where I am sure dreams are
It doesn't matter if I win
Or the colour of my skin
Cause the race is all about
Believing in yourself
And I dream
I can run
Like the wind
And be strong
When my heart just wants to give in
I can be
The hero that's in me
When I dream, I dream
If there's a time
In your life
When the odds are so against you
There's no defeat, if all you keep is pride
First or last
Slow or fast
There's a dignity that makes you
Keep driving on, when world's have come apart
It doesn't matter rich or poor
Or the things you've done before
Cause the race is all about
Believing in yourself
And I dream
I can run
Like the wind
And be strong
When my heart just wants to give in
I dream I can be The hero that's in me
When I dream, I dream
Of a moment
That forever will be golden
When the torch is passed
Only dreams will last
That are shared by everyone
And I dream
I can run
Like the wind
And be strong
When my heart just wants to give in
I dream I can be
The hero that's in me
When I dream, I dream
Lazy to think of what to blog tonight. This song shall spell out everything. :)
Friday, December 10, 2004
Then at this certain stop in which I couldn't remember which stop it was, a man dresses very nicely & neatly in suit came into the train & stood beside me. He looks like an Indian but a whiter Indian. Maybe mix-blooded creature ba. Heh. When he stood beside me, he wished me "Good Morning!". I thought he was just being polite so I smiled back. Then he began talking to me again, asking me questions like, "Hi!", "How are you today?", "Glad to see you!", etc. Did he mistaken me as someone else? *Scratch my head* When the train reached Little Indian Station, he wispered to me, "Bye Bye.", "See you". He repeated quite a lot of time cos I never bothered to response & I supposed he thought I never heard me. Lol. Haha. So hilarious. When the train reached Dhoby Ghaut Station, I pretended that I wasn't walking out of the train & hence he got to walk off 1st. This time he turned his back around & said, "Good-bye girl." with a very er xin look. Eeeewwww....... What could I do? I just gave a forced smile. Haha. I noticed that he kept looking back when he was up the escalator. Fancy you were dressed like some professional management people & you were actually doing all these sorts of things behind. Didn't you feel a little ashamed? *Roll my eyes* *Shake my head* * Frown* What can I do? Lol.
These are just 2 examples of guys in whom I categorized them as "the cannot make it guys". The cannot make it guys not only refer to guys who don't have the looks, it can also refer to guys who have nasty personalities, terrible up-bringings, weird & fuuny behaviours, stupid nonsenses & many many many more bad things that you can ever think of for the cannot make it guys. Hee.
Guys walking on the road, Guys driving. Please don't keep staring at me. I'm not some aliens. I'm not pretty but at least I'm still not ugly right? :p I THANK GOD for giving me a decent & normal looking face. I have got ears, eyes, nose, mouth, hands & legs. I believe you have them all too & what so special about my ears, eyes, nose, mouth, hands & legs? You know what I wanna tell these bo liao people? "Xiu Tou". Ask me if you don't know what it's mean. Hehe. Be careful "XIu Tou". You eyeballs are popping out. Even if they are not, I may just dig them out without you knowing. :-)
I'm really being to think that all the guys out there are having evil or bad intentions on me. Please change my perception cos I still believe that there are nice guys out there but seeing & witnessing so many different encounters with guys, I'm beginning to feel paranoid about this perception of mine. But I gotta agree that 10 guys out there, 8 or 9 of them are "hao se". Lol. I mean I understand lar & seriously I don't mind either but provided you are a decent "hao se". Hmmm..... Do you understand what I mean?..... Aiya..... Errrr.... Does this sentence make some sense to you? I hope so lar huh? Haha. Don't know how to elaborate further anyway. Hehz.
So what intentions do you guys have on me? I'm just wondering. :p
Please love me for who I'm & not what I'm.
I have got things to do at work to keep me busy but I'm like always taking my own sweet time to do. Nobody is rushing me. So yea. It's quite gd though. Heh.
I did a retail therapy today. A fast one but nvm lar. Hee. I got myself a pair of earrings, a tank top, 2 blushers from Wet n Wild at only $6.90 each (Usual price is $8.90. I thought they were really affordable & I couldn't resist temptation so I got 2 of them of different shades. Heh. This range of blushers have 4 different shades altogether.) & I also got myself Johnson's baby oil. I'm so satisfied. Kekeke.
Oh ya. To share something interesting. There were 2 japanese students standing near me when I was browsing through the various racks of earrings just now. 1 of them took 2 necklaces from a rank & he actually came close to me & posed the necklaces on my neck. I was quite shocked & taken back because he never even asked me for my permission & he just put the 2 necklaces closed to my neck & see how they look like on me. Haha. A bit comical lar but I guess he was buying the necklaces for a girl so maybe he just use me as his model lar. Haha.
& I saw Christopher Lee today! At Hg Mall. A funny place to see him actually. Lolx. Anyway, I think he looks really charming! Tall & handsome! I'm totally mesmerized by him. Haha. Ok lar. Maybe not totally but quite. Hee. They were actually having this home decoration competition or something (I can't really remember what's the name of the competition.) & there were 3 participants inclusive of Christopher Lee & 2 others commoners. I was quite surprised that a lot of young kids were there to cheer for Christopher Lee. They were shouting cheers like, "Ming Shun jia you, Ming Shun jia you!" & "Ming Shun jia you, Fan Wen Fang hui deng ni de!" Haha. Many people were shouting Fann Wong's name. But hello she wasn't there. What had it got to do with her? Haha. But seriously when I saw him just now I also thought of Fann Wong. Haha. I couldn't help it lar. Lol. They just have got the linkage. :p
I didn't know who had won the competiton just now because I didn't stay to watch for long. After I got my things from Watsons, I watched them a little & then I went off. I think who was the winner the answer is pretty obvious ya? It must be Christopher Lee. The audiences were the judges & they were supposed to vote for the best decor & before I left the mall I actually witnessed most people voted for Christopher Lee. They were each given a flower or something similar for them to do the votings. When you are a celebrity, you are just treated differently. Especially if you are a little popular. M I right? Heh.
By the way, Wang Wen Yong was there too. He was the host & I saw many aunties went almost crazy over him just now. Lol. An interesting scenario. =]
Again. I'm staying up so late. I'm quite guilty of it actually. I don't want to age so fast. I want to have more of my beauty sleep.
Heh. Ciao guys.
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
I saw a girl who looks like your ex-gf but it had been quite sometimes since I last saw her & I thought I could have seen the wrong person. In my mind I was thinking & telling myself that if she was really there, you could have be there & you might be the one who came with her. Well, a girl's 6th sense is pretty accurate. So it was her. Your ex-gf. I confirmed.
I felt rather uneasy seeing her just now & I realised that she was noticing me too. The look she gave me didn't seem to be very friendly. Maybe I was just getting a bit over sensitive but her presence made me feel edgy somehow. Then I spotted you standing beside her & talking to her. All of the sudden I felt so cheated. I assumed that the 2 of you might have already patched things up. At that very moment I was very regretful to have come & all I wanted to do was to faster find a place to hide or to faster finish my things & go off. I pretended to be very concentrated in doing my stuffs & I had my eyes shifted off the 2 of you to elsewhere. A while later, you came over & smiled to me but you said nothing & you walked away. The smile was so different from the smile you used to give me. It seemed so strange. It seemed so unfamiliar. It's the kind of the smile that you'll only give me wheneve she is there with you.
I don't know what have happened between the 2 of you & what's going on. I'm not very interested to know anyway. I just don't feel good seeing the 2 of you together. It's not that I like you but the actions, the behaviours & the things you do simply changed so fast. Guys. What's the meaning of "I'm willing to walk through the journey with you if you are willing to let me to & I guess in life what's most important is to find someone who really likes you." that you had told me earlier on? I really doubt everything that is going on & I really doubt the liking you said you had for me.
People who are reading this entry may think that I may have fallen for this guy & I'm just jealous of him & his girl. Well, I guess I'm not. I just feel so cheated by you & I just don't feel good seeing the 2 of you together. I must be crazy. If I don't like you, why should I be bother? Perhaps it's the emotional stress that I'm facing lately. Contradiction. Grrrrrr.......
I'll be fine after a sleep. Will I?
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Work was rather busy & hectic. I have got a lot of things to do & they seem to be never-ending. When I have nothing to do, I really have nothing to do. When I have somehing to do, everybody will ask me to help them do things. You get the picture? Fancy they bully an innocent & nice girl like me when they know I'm leaving the job soon. Hmph.... ;p
I read the newspapers yesterday & I got a shock that a girl from my poly got killed in a bike accident. I don't know her well but at least I know who she is & she is actually quite close with one of my good friends. You see. Life is really so unpredictable. Life can be strong yet so fragile. I'm really feel sad & sorry for her. Sigh....
You won't know how much the person mean to you until you lose him/her. You won't know how much you love the person until he/she has left you. You won't know many many many things until one day when you know they can never be yours.
Monday, December 06, 2004
I think I gonna get myself moving. Set new goals. Set new resolutions. Get my life rearrange. Sound cool right? I need some inspiration though.
Was flipping through my photo albums this afternoon. All the memories that I thought I would have forgotten just come back to me so vividly. I then realise how much I miss those days. Especially my sec sch's days. I mean everything.
Love & miss you guys so much! Not only you but YOU as well. :p
Saturday, December 04, 2004
No wonder I get pissed off so easily these few days. Sorry dearies if I had throw tantrums. I'm trying to stay calm & cool but P.M.S really sucks big time. I hate cramps even more. I feel so yucky. ArRgGhH.......... Guys, it's tough to be a girl okay. I just want to hug my pillow now. :/
Uh-em. I'm talking about Singapore's Idol again. Lol. Everybody seems to be still discussing. So ya. Heehee. Someone told me it's unfair cos Sly & Taufik are both getting contracts from BMG & if that's the case, what's the use of the "Singapore's Idol" title? I can't really bother much as long as Sly is there. Haha. Ok lar. Taufik is there too. & David? Heh.
Surprisingly work was busy today (friday). I was packed with quite a lot of work to do. This was the first time that I didn't have much time to surf the net in the office. Haha. How unusual. Maybe they know I'll be leaving soon so they want to load me with lots & lots of work. Haa. But time really passes very fast without I knowing. It has been quite a few months since I started working at this company. Will miss them a little. Or maybe some of them only. :p
Matters of "Heart"
Many people don't believe that I'm not attached now but it's true. I'm still single & available & hopefully I'll not be pathetically being left on the shelves. Lol. Well, I guess I don't fall in love easily. Or maybe I always avoid when things come. Asking me not to waste your & my time? When did I ask for your time? I never did anyway. Frankly speaking, I don't really like it when guys are too anxious, too eager or too pushy to make things work. Sometimes you'll tend to move the wrong step if you are too fast. Let nature takes its course. Who knows right? Haha. Anyway, I'm eligible now. I welcome applications. Haa. You may stand a chance if you love me. I may like you a little bit more than before without knowing. Heh. Not crap okay? ;)
I'm happy with my current status but still it'll be wonderful to have that special someone to share every single moment of your life with you. Agree? Hee.
Yes. I'm depriving of sleep. Dreams.... :)
Thursday, December 02, 2004
When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms
On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.
This was the scene of ten years ago.
The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid, I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school.
Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes. Dew came into my life.
It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her.
Dew said, "You are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said, "Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls." Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so.
I moved Dew's hands aside and said," You go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company." Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.
However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.
One day I said to her in a slight joking way, "suppose we divorce, what will you do?" She stared at me for a few seconds withou! t a word. Apparently she believed that 'divorce' was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.
When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.
Once again, Dew said to me, "He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we live together." I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.
When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. "I've got something to tell you," I said.
She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. "I want to divorce." I raised a serious topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be much annoy! ed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "why?". "I'm serious." I avoided her question. This so-called answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, "you are not a man!".
At that night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.
A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.
She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage was broken.
She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, "He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?" This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, "I remember". "You carried me in your arms", she continued, "so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning."
I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.
I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce," she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, "daddy is holding mummy in his arms." His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, "Let us start from today, don't tell our son." I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.
On the third day, she whispered to me, "The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there."
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vaguer.
On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me som! ething, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this.
I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, "It seems not difficult to carry you now."
She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "All my dresses have grown fatter." I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head.
Our son came in at the moment. "Dad, it's time to carry mum out." He said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last
minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, "Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old."
I held her tightly and said, "Both you and I didn't notice that our life was lack of such intimacy."
I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious." She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. "You got no fever." She said. I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew," I said, "I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you."
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into cry. I walked downstairs and drove to the office.
When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote, "I'll carry you out every morning until we are old."
Maybe it's Sly's & Taufik's "I dream" that made me dream?! *Giggle*
Hope my day is good today! Tmr is Friday again! I can't wait. Heh.
I'm missing everyone of you.
Though I support Sly all along, I can't deny that Taufik is a really good singer & I could see absolute efforts & sincerity being put in by him throughout the night. He has got a powerful vocal & he sings every song with feelings. He was confident & yet not over doing it. He deserves to be the 1st Singapore's Idol.
Compared to Taufik, Sly's performance didn't seem to outshine. He appeared to be alittle nervous in which it is understandable (if it's me I think I may faint) & somehow he appeared to be alittle bit too confident of himself? He pointed his mike to the audiences & expected them to sing the chorus but it seemed like not many people sang? Or was I blind or deaf just now? I don't know. I just know he wasn't very "feeling" into his songs tonight especially the "An Jing" song that he sang again. Did he sing the wrong lyrics at a certain part of the song? The song also seemed to be abit out of tuned. Hmmm....:/
Nevertheless, all I can say is that Sly has his own talents & he has got a great smile. Without the Singapore's Idol tile, I believe he'll still venture into the chinese market & be a pop chinese star. In Sly's fans' hearts, Sly has won! Hehe. Ohhh, I just love Taufik's dressing. i think he looks great in suits & he can really carry off them well. He is getting better & better looking too. My brother says he is a pretty boy. Haha.
Oh yeah. Not to forget. I think Taufik is a very diligent, humble & gracious person who cares a lot about his friends. I was really touched when he handed the mike to Sly to sing "I dream" after he was announced the Singapore's Idol. This shows that he does not forget about his friends. I thought that was rather sweet of him too. He was willing to share the stage with Sly.
However, in my opinion, Sly has a higer market value Taufik because he can sing chinese & english songs whereas Taufik can only sings english songs. You can't expect him to sing malay songs right? You tell me how big is the malay market only? Anyway, both have their individual uniqueness & talents & I believe they will go far. ;) But however to be frank, I think Sly may make it bigger than Taufik in the future. Taufik may just fade away into the memory. What do you guys suggest?Ohh.... The result breaks all the rumours mentioned in my previous entry. Guess I'm wrong. Heh. :p
I love them both actually. ~Blush~ Sly rocks! Taufik rocks! They are both very good & they are already the Singapore's Idol winners having to come so far here. Great applause for them! Singapore's Idol rocks, don't you think so? Haha. Plus the judges were all so nice tonight. All the comments given seemed so wonderful?! Haa.
Oh ya. Dick played & sang well too. Woohoooo.... Haha....
I just can't stand Olinda. Look at the way she wore, performed, & hugged Taufik tonight. Trying to steal the limelight. Please look at the mirror. So Boooooo......... So Bitchy........
But afterall, I think Singapore's Idol is a success. Agree with me? :p
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
Met this cousin of mine at the ritual ceremony. We are not close because we only see each other once a year during the Chinese New Year. He is 2 years older than me & I can say his look is not bad but sad to say, he is a gay. We chatted quite a lot today & I realised that he is a very nice & friendly person. He is currently learning hair & make-up grooming at School of Make-Up & he told me that he aspires to be a professional make-up artist. He just simply has the passion to make other people look pretty. He visits Gays' Pubs on weekends & he is really enjoying what he is doing now & the way he is now. He asked if I had a boyfriend, I replied jokingly to ask him if he has any cute & handsome guy to introduce me and then he replied back saying if there is really any cute & handsome guy he will take already. Hmmm..... I don't have any discrimination for gays but I just feel pity because he is considered a not bad-looking guy & I am pretty sure that if he is straight, he gonna mesmerizes many girls.
Well, in this world, not everything is perfect. To be exact, NOTHING is perfect.
Alright. I shall stop here. I just blog to boast that I am a filial girl. Haha. Gonna take a nap soon. Ciao!
Tonight ~ Taufik or Sylvester?
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
I feel like a bad granddaughter. Or am I not?
5.45pm soon. I gotta make up my mind fast. If I'm gng, I gotta let my colleague know. To go or not to go?