I was so happy, cos my hair can still be up and pong pong, after struggling to tie my barely can tie up hair for almost an hour. Few hours of work only and I already felt that tired. No choice, auntie here is getting old already la... Work a little bit more I complain, stand a bit longer I will faint. Age is catching up. Haha.. And today I was especially in deep thoughts. At the crew's seat, when serving food, and even when talking to my colleagues. I couldn't be that good in multi-tasking huh? Hell, what was I thinking sial...?
Leaving on a long work trip this Saturday. I am so hoping to see Sakura along the journey. Maybe I will be lucky? Hehe...
Well, good night people. And very sweet dreams! :)
Went hightea with the girls at Arteastiq that day. It was a very cosy & girly cafe , accompanied with classic english ambience, quite a perfect place to go with your girlfriends for some girlish gathering. However, I think...perhaps your man will like it as well, cos you like it ma, so he has to like it lor. Haha... so bring him one day. Hehe...
Was back to training centre for SEP these 2days. Was so tired and that I almost could have fallen asleep at every corner. And the only thing to keep me awake was facebooking and msning in class. Haha.
I don't know how am I going to tie my hair later. It barely can tie up now. I want to grow my hair, so that I can have pong pong hair again. =p
Hmm....what else? Hmmm.... Oh I think guys nowadays are so much more sensitive than girls huh? Was in class and a friend messaged to ask if I wanted to have dinner together. Just because I didn't reply immediately, he claimed I was being attitude. Or could it have be really me?
Flaring up at the slightest matter, getting upset over things and people just because I thought they didn't meet my expectations, dealing with sensitive new age guys and the list goes on. I was looking and browsing through those evidences of the past, and they made me miss how everything was actually used to be. We were all admiring and appreciating one another's good sides and not blaming one another just because we didn't get the care and concern we wanted. Not that things have changed so dramatically now, not that people have changed so dramatically now, is it because we just don't know how to get along with one another anymore? And then to decide, "cannot get along ar...forget it, move on and never look back."
Moving on, and yet we still like to peep and secretly hope for some unexpected miracles.
I was thinking, just thinking, that our lives get so busy that we don't talk to our friends and loved ones, and perhaps sometimes we don't even have time for ourselves. And the most comfortable measures to still stay connected with one another are probably through facebook, msn and smses. When was the last time you said "I miss you" to those you really care for?
Seriously, I don't remember when was the last time I actually said it.
So, are you missing anyone right now? Or maybe you won't know what you have been missing until it arrives or you won't know how much someone or something actually meant to you until one day when you know you have completely lost it. No?
Was having this casual meaningless conversation with a colleague at work earlier on. And then now, he just sent me a msg through WhatsApp, talking about the same topic again!
"honestly, you don't have the mistress look,but really got the high maintenance look lor. my 2cents worth."
2days ago at another work trip, the set of colleagues thought I look the most bitchy of all.
Well, well, maybe it's really me la.
Some people think I don't eat at hawker centres, only dine at high-class restaurants and hotels.
Some people think I have many LV, Prada, Miu Miu and Chanel.
Some people think I have plenty of money to spend, either from my dad or their classic illusion of "yolene has a super rich and handsome boyfriend who can buy her whatever she wants."
Some people think I look (am) aloof and arrogant as if I own the world. And I don't give a damn to those unnecessary people and things around me.
And worst of all, some people even think I don't deserve to be nice to at all, just because they think I didn't treat others well. I am stuck up and as usual, like what many others commented, "yolene is super hard to please lor...."
We always choose to remember the unhappy incidents, but always forget about the kindness that people give us, and those happy occasions. What to do? We are all human beings. Nice things are harder to remember. I so agree, cos I always remember the evil and nasty sides of people. *laugh*
I don't bother anymore. One day, or some day, someone of a greater worth will come along. Someone who doesn't need me to pretend to be someone I am not. Someone who likes me, just become I am that yolene-ish. Haha... ;p
Back from Melbourne. Was quite a splendid flight, minus off the "evil step mother" and some weirdos. Haha... Otherwise, it was tiring but good, with some people worth remembering. ;)
Got to hear some news about a friend's mummy. Somehow a part of me wish to be there, another part of me thinks it probably going to be so weird, especially when I am going to see certain people and friends around. I think the whole atmosphere gonna be so weird, so awkward. Moreover, things have changed, people have moved on and grew out from the past. Or is it just me that think this way? Oh well, I hope he is coping, really.
Leaving for melbourne tonight. Been changing away all the aussie flights for the past few months, but this time around, I decided to visit the melbourne city for once again, before the summer goes away. :)
You know it's kind of strange that you have to constantly convince yourself of the many possibilities that may arise, and then to realise every time when you are almost reaching the final destination, that this isn't the destination you want to arrive at. You don't know why, and yet you are scared when you leave that destination, you may regret. But then again, you know deep down in your heart, that's not your ultimate choice, not your ultimate destination you want to reach upon. Hell loads, too much thinking! Haha...
Home after 8days. Was crazily tired. Maybe I am old and fat already. This kind of lifestyle can kill me someday. Though, as much as I really love it.
A course to attend tomorrow. I can't wait for 5.30pm, for it to be over. Ha.
You know it's so strange having to flip through albums and albums, recalling past memories, and then to begin wondering to oneself if there was love in the first place? I know it's so unnecessary but there are just times when you want to question the uncertainty. But probably now the answer isn't important anymore. Because, it's not going to make any difference. Hee. :)
I try diverting my attention to other stuffs and people in my life. And just when I thought that diversion is possible and maybe comfortable, people disappoint me or rather perhaps it's not they disappoint me, it could be me who just don't understand why certain things or certain relationships turn out in a certain dimension that probably I can't bring myself to accept.
Maybe the liking just isn't enough. Maybe the love just isn't enough. Maybe it's the wrong timing. Maybe the expectations are way beyond the abilities. Maybe it just doesn't mean to be in the first place.
And then to speculate why the hell do we still want to prove things wrong, and continue indulging in those little tiny hopes that may surface from those loopholes, secretly wishing some miracles do happen and piece every bits together to form a picture together?
Anyway, do you understand what I am writing? I am getting a little confused myself here. Haha...
Don't worry. I am perfectly fine and happy. Just that at some point of times, I get emotionally carried away and I wish I could hear from you, or maybe you, or probably even you and you.
"After my father passed away, everything seems to make sense. No matter how many times you fail, how hard you fall, as long as you still have your life, you can always start all over again. I had been through the lowest point in my life. Nothing can go lower than that and I never forget.
I came to Singapore at the age of 13. Straight away after I got off the plane at Changi Airport, I went to clean the bungalow at Pasir Ris resort. My mum was already there cleaning and I went over to help. Money didn't come easy. My mum said for the sake of better life and education for me, my brother and sister, everything was worth it. I was the youngest janitor you probably ever seen in schools. Even the principals were skeptical about me at such young age, doing all the work, cleaning the toilets, sweeping the roads, going through the lifestyle that an normal teenager shouldn't be leading.
Time was tough. My parents, myself and 2 siblings, we stayed in a one room flat. 5 persons squeezing and trying to live, but we all survived and somehow contented, because we are together. My family was together. That's what matters most. We often got loan sharks splashing paint at our door, knocking our doors in the middle of the night. It was the landlord who left all these trouble shit behind for us to handle. It was often nightmares, nightmares and followed by more nightmares.
I am very grateful for today. For whatever I have now. Not just my job, my car, my house but for all the incidents and events that happened in my life. If I am given a choice, I will still choose to come to Singapore again in the first place, going through the same thing again, meeting the same people in my life again. If not for all these, I wouldn't be who I am today."
And oH...that Mr. Tan was on my flight just now. He was going back to Singapore from San Francisco. And the most ironical part was, he was seated on my business class aisle. Hell so freaky. What can be so coincidentally?
Whatever la. Can't wait to wake up to eat. Haha.. .. Goodnight=)
Checked in the room at 845pm, Seoul time. I decided that I was not hungry, and neither do I want to sleep early. Changed out of my uniforms, I didn't even rest my legs, put on a jacket, took a cab, ALONE to Dongdaemun. Spent almost 3 hours there, spent some money, concluded that I was happy and contented for the night. =p
Hungry and sleepy, like right NOW! Better sleep first. My mask and bed is waiting for me.
I think I should see a skin doctor when I come back. Been getting all the red spots and rashes attack ever since. Yucks.!
Met the good friend last night. He drove me to a random japanese restaurant for dinner, then he brought to this night trail walk with him. It was dark, walking along the grasses and bushes, he got his mini torchlight to lighten the path as we walked. It was cold, mad darkness, you heard birds crying, the unusual serenity of the surrounding, the dark under tunnel which I thought no one would actually go there at this hour cos you wouldn't be able to see a single thing without a torchlight, and to my frankly, I was pretty scared. Haha. But I had his strong arms to guide me along the long and hypothetical path, to another amazing place he was bringing me to. =)
The view was bewildering. I saw the Golden Gate Bridge from another side of the island. I witnessed the calm and the astonishing night view of California. And at the other end of the bridge, it's San Antonio. I would so loveeeee to visit that city one day.
Actually I have more to write about, but I gotta run to prepare for work. Going back to Seoul in a while. Till I reach Seoul, I promise. ;p
I can't get enough of the fisheye effect, so I must show it off, with more products. Hee. =D Just arrived San Francisco. With a tired body, injured finger, but a mind to shop later. *LOL* Already washed my uniforms and am now removing my nail polish and blogging at the same time. Trying to multi-task and oh well, it all seems to work. :) Am so going to take my time to shower and head out for a walk.
Dragged myself out of the bed at 10ish in the morning, pour the cereal I bought from Christchurch in a big bowl, open the fridge, see no milk, I use soya milk instead. Scoping, munching with my half-open eyes. Showered and got my wheels moving to Pomo Centre. Spent 2hours plus there, watching some old hongkong series they were playing on their dvd player. And now, I have a fresh new set of nails. ;p
Was so hungry after the nails thingy and I so craved for Burger King okay. (don't ask me why. I just want to have a burger from Burger King. unusual craving. ha..) Knowing Mr Chua was in town, but I was late by that split second. People already "dabao" and just hop into a cab heading home, for flight later when I returned the call. He almost burst my phone while I was doing my nails and just when I was done and needed someone to eat Burger King with me, he's gone. *smack forehead*
Couldn't find Burger King near my place. I settled for Mac instead. Happy still. So much so for the little craving. =)