Wednesday, June 30, 2010
I intend to head to the gym later, yeah, I really have to go. Then I feel like catching a movie and go for some alcoholic drinks tonight. Haha... But no plans quite yet. Still waiting for people to ask me out. *laugh*
Off to Zurich tomorrow late night with batchgirl again. Probably need some groceries shopping. We planning to cook in the room, for fun. Ha. But then, let me find my cook pot later. I don't know where I have dumped it too. Heh.
It's mid-week. Time should be passing fast. Have a good one everybody. Spend times with your loved ones, give a ring or text a message to those whom you haven't seen for long. Even a simple "hello, how are you?" may mean a lot to a person. =) And not forgetting to set some times to yourself, asking what you want. Sometimes we get too engrossed with life and work and we tend to forget ourselves, forget those who matter. Good luck, and cheers. :)
To my special friend, always.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Bui Bui stewardess. *grrr..*
Sunday, June 27, 2010
I think I just don't click well with all these IT-SAVVY gadgets. They must have HATE me big time.
G11 and Macbook PRO, I heard you guys shouting for me... HA!
Good night, Paris.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Ice Kachang at T3 that day after Bangkok turn. *slurp* (=
Overeasy at One Fullerton. Love the view and ambience, over looking Marina Bay Sands. Even Starbucks at One Fullerton looks more atas. And they have lots of other restaurants, cafes and pubs there. Another choice of location to hangout during my off days in Singapore. (:
Heading to the city of love and romance, Paris tonight. Shopping list for mum and myself. *cheeky grin* And flying with batchgirl, how can not be fun? Hehe..
Have a great weekend everyone. I will be spending mine in Paris. Envy me not? Haha... Go have dinner and sip some good wine and watch World Cup by the river at One Fullerton. I think you will have a good time like I will be in Paris too. Ha.
Right, till then.
Love ya all.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Mummy says, all things are fated and many times it's hard to run away. So before it's too late, say I love you to all those who matter.
We will all miss you, uncle. Though we drift apart when I grow up, I will always remember you. The tall and shy uncle who always pull my pony tail, buy me sweets, and joint forces with the other uncles to call me "ah fat" when I was young. Rest in peace. Ah gong and ah ma are waiting for you in heaven.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Has it really been too long that I or rather we, deep down somewhere in us, feel somehow it seems pointless or meaningless for a substantial conversation on the equilibrium? Has it been so long enough that we are actually used to it? As much as I didn't want it to happen, I know it has been long enough for me to forget and move on. Are we going to follow the protocols again and again or should we just leave everything behind us and carry on with our individual lives?
Hungry for dinner by the way.
Every time when I thought someone is different from the rest, I would always be proven wrong in the end. Whoever someone I thought can be different is actually the same just like anyone else. Just a penny of thought, there are things in life and actions we carried out which might put us in jeopardizing positions. And they always left us in illusions and dilemmas.
Maybe we used to think a lot of things can start all over again, and feelings can be the same once again, without realising we have actually all changed. There are some dialogues which can seem a little too late to begin. Maybe certain things are better off by not explaining?
*scratch head* What kind of stupid random thought is this at this hour?
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Suddenly, it all felt like it has been nothing but just a dream all this while. All those that happened lately, they were just parts and pieces of the dream. I supposed to wake up much earlier but I kept running and somehow I just lost my way in the dream. Then, I fell down and I was forced to wake up.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Off to Melbourne later in the evening, coming back on Tuesday afternoon and I will have a few days of break from work. I can't wait. I have a sudden detest to put on those blue uniforms. A short break will be good. I guess so. :)
Thank you for putting up with my emotional postings for the past weeks. Been feeling very attention-needy. Pretty angry with myself. Some thoughts and logic just seem hard to straighten out. But I am working on them. Soon, very soon, everything should be able to fall in their rightful places again. =)
Friday, June 11, 2010
Thank you for the calls and talks on the phone.
Maybe like what R said to me that day...."yolene, i think you should seriously go consider and think about what you really want in your life...don't 到处留情...ultimately, you may realise there is actually nothing left eventually. you are left with nothing, nobody..."
It so felt like a wake up call, a tight slap on the face. 到处留情? *laugh*
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Was back in the evening after 8days. Freaking tired that I kept falling asleep. Eat, sleep, watch tv, sleep again, wake up eat supper, then sleep again, then shower, online and then to hear the guys storming into my house.
I know all the problems and worries won't go off by themselves but on my hand, I seriously have no idea what to do, what step to carry out next. Things just so happened consecutively, and it feels like it's all pre-planned ahead, all in joint forces to go against me.
I think this time... I have really lost...
Tuesday, June 08, 2010
Was too confident, arrogant to think I can conquer every thing I want and then to realise the ultimate loser is actually myself.
Such a laughing stock.
Monday, June 07, 2010
And everything just seems so messed up.
I am in deep shit.
You mean in this whole wide world, there is not a single soul worth you trusting and believing?
And you know...
Just when I need someone to listen, and then to realise you are not there...
This is a damn bad month, seriously.
Sunday, June 06, 2010
Sometimes you don't even bump into friends in Singapore, but I just bumped one in New York. How cool is that? Heh...
Some things just don't require any closure. So let them be. Just realise over torturing myself with all those unnecessary emotions are like so silly. Who would care about how I could have felt? Not even the ones whom I thought they somehow matter very much. Well, this is part of growing up I guess. So yes, please grow up Yolene.
Friday, June 04, 2010
Thursday, June 03, 2010
But it's always like that. When you are determined to get out of the emotional trap, somehow or rather it will still come back to you and try to pull you in all over again. Well, it's a little too much to think now. Haha. But the thoughts just keep coming. *laugh*
Well, actually I am feeling quite calm and comfortable now. I am thinking to myself, perhaps, 有些东西其实我并没有那么喜欢. It could have been just an illusion to substitute my loneliness? Maybe lei. You never know... Lol...
And so sorry, I am not smart enough to wake up one day to come to my realisation about certain things. I am quite stupid, seriously. I have huge difficulty understanding issues and logics in life. It's such a pity but I am that stupid, really. I suppose there's a price to pay for every single action we do, every decision we make. And maybe to a point there is no turning back. Maybe we will all feel the lost, maybe we will all only then realise how important certain people are actually to us. But a lot of things could be too late. The faith has died. The trust has died. We have died. Talking is expensive, or rather communication is too luxurious for poor people like us? Frankly, I really wish I am smarter.
Like what Jade said, I shouldn't 钻牛角尖 anymore. I will be much happier. Back to work, it was tiring, having to sleep only 3 hours at home before work. I am tired, hungry and I can feel my sore throat coming back. Frankfurt having some public holiday now and shops are all going to be closed tomorrow. Hell loads of boredom. I hope I can spot a cafe that is opened tomorrow. I will bring my book, sip a cup of cappuccino and eat my cheesecake. Sound ideally. Heading to the gym in the morning or evening sounds good too huh? Heh. Alright my eyes super need to close and rest now.
Take care people, where ever you are. :)
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
After the sleep tonight, I will be back to the true reality tomorrow. I won't live in self-denial. I won't get upset over people who aren't worth. I won't want to think what's going to happen next. I won't want to guess the future. I won't want to analyze how my friendship/relationship will turn out with certain people. It's too tiring. Everyday waking to a new tomorrow is the best gift for now.
Good night people:)
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
Off days were spent having dinners with friends, running errands. but why am I feeling so drained out? It so seems like many things happened lately, trivial ones, big ones, all make me so emotionally drained out. So much so as I tried to claim to everyone and even myself that I am super OKAY, it just suddenly feels that hard to breathe. Perhaps, maybe, I don't have to be that strong actually. Cry out loud if I have to, laugh out hard when I feel like it. So what if the whole world is looking? Haha...
Off to my 8days Frankfurt New York work trip tomorrow. Not much anticipation, no expectation. Hope the work trip is good. If the mood is there, probably I will snap some shots along the journey and post them up here.
Someone told me last night, when there is no reciprocation, you can't expect the person to wait forever. The person has to move on and find someone else who reciprocates back the care and concern. You can't be that selfish you know? Yeah...exactly. Well, just some random thoughts la. Hehe...
Alright, will be back soon. I hope everyone out there is safe, healthy and happy. :)