Monday, May 31, 2010
Day dreaming girls....*smack forehead and giggle*
Was taking a scroll at the unfinished bridge leading to the Marina Casino. It's beautiful. The scenery. The architectures. The lighting that brightens up the night. The shopping mall is huge, with interior design that is so perfectly well done, with an edge of modern fusion. I am sure it so gonna be a huge eye opener when all the shops and hotels are fully opened.
I guess I should start counting my blessings. People who still stay around with me, some grow up together with me, some going through my ups and downs, some witnessing my goods and my bads, some always being there for me whenever I need them, and most importantly, I know they never fail to love me. I should be glad I still have willing shoulders for me to lean on, for me to cry on, listening ears to hear me rave and rants.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Leaving on a jet plane back home!
Till Sunday morning! Loves~
So... did you miss me?
London is having good weather. Bright and sunny with cool breeze, scrolling down the street with Starbucks Caramel Frappuccino is none other than pure indulgence and satisfaction. Nicole and Ling were here a day earlier and we were all having big cups filled with huge scoops of ice cream in my room last night till almost 2ish morning.
I am so glad I am feeling much better, I mean my health people. *lol* But the sneezes and coughing still trigger once in a while but I am definitely alright. Thank you to those who have shown concern and to those who didn't, aiya never mind la. Don't bother. Small case. I am not that important anyway. Don't really have many good friends actually. I just realise. Haha. But...I am okay... I don't need many friends. I just need those who really love me for who I am. Appreciate my strengths and accept my flaws. More than enough. :)
Was feeling rather lousy and low for quite a couple of days. Now come to think of it, I think I must be crazy. Getting emotional and affected over unnecessary stuffs and people, and then I don't even think they really know how I have felt and what I have gone through. I used to use mood swings as an excuse to tell people why I flared up. Was it really just simply mood swing, or was it I have higher expectation for certain people in my life. I can't even justified for myself now. People don't read minds, especially mine. I forgot. Haha..
And I have been telling myself these few days..."DON'T look forward to things and people whom don't belong to you."
And yet, I allow myself to contradict from time to time....
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
All of a sudden, I feel I have been harsh to myself for the past days. I am not supposed to.
But somehow I still think life is a vicious cycle. You can't be too happy. Like I myself, I am afraid of being too happy. Whenever you get too happy, something bad always happens.
Off to London tonight. Be back on Sunday's morning. It so gonna be a long weekend in Singapore. Have a great one all.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Was back in the evening, received the most wanted call, and then to get excited over it. Meet up over supper and then met another new friend along the way, and then to realise it was just another one-sided hopeful thinking.
Just when I thought things are falling in place, it seems so otherwise. Things don't turn out to be my ideal, and everything right now in my life just doesn't seem to turn out the way I want them to be. Disappointment over people and probably even myself.
How I can lessen the level disappointment?
Friends, strangers, myself and everything.
Everything just doesn't seem to be right.
Even things like unknown stranger or probably it could have been someone I know, creating a fake facebook account based on my profile.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Fell in love with this song when my friend was singing it at KTV that day.
我 却一直没发现想 在一起的画面
Super nice la! Haha...
I wonder how am I going to work later. Please let me work galley so that I don't have to talk so much. Been coughing quite a bit and that feeling is terrible.
Not feeling exactly fantastic, knowing there are so many things that are so beyond my limits and controls. For now, I guess only time and patience are the virtues. I don't expect to be rewarded but if I do, that would be a bonus. The tasks of clearing up misunderstanding with whoever and whoever, and sorting out my own messed up thoughts and emotions, somehow seem like a chore, seem like a huge pressure exerting on me.
Perhaps... I just need someone to listen. I just need you to listen. That's more than enough.
Alright. I shall head to do some light packing for work, do some reading then sleep.
May we all wake up to a better tomorrow. :)
Thursday, May 20, 2010
And then to realise actually you and you and you are just like anyone else. Just when I thought perhaps you and you and you can be different, you are no a single bit of special but just like the rest.
Hooola... it's a test. Tough one maybe.
People who don't know you, judge you and bad mouth things behind your back, people who you care, actually choose to ignore and leave you. people who you thought you can trust, betray you. And things you know you will never get, yet there is nothing you can do except to put on a strong front and embrace the future.
I can't help it but to feel so helpless at this moment. And who should I talk to? And who can I really trust now?
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain... To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices - today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it.
Side track, whole world is going Taipei for holidays lor. Maybe I should go there next month during my pathetic few days of annual leaves. Alone, off my phone, so you don't disturb and no one disturbs. Heh.
Have a great day ahead people. It's raining though, still feeling hot and humid and the drowsiness of my stupid medication starts to kick in already. "Do not drive or operate machinery if you feel drowsy." Aiya, whatever la.
Till then, I know who matters.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
I flared up the mid way through. Okay maybe not really flared. But I got worked up, over something that was so small and unnecessary. And it was with the same person, over and over again, for months? Yes, many many months. Maybe our characters just clash, or maybe it's just me. But yet I can't believe I could get so agitated with someone who is just a friend. I have a very bad temper to begin with, and yet at times people say I hide it so well in front of everybody so that I can look perfect. Hell load, I think I am losing it, losing my ability to look perfect everytime.
We are all human beings and who doesn't want face and ego? Especially guys. Don't say guys. I myself I want to win. I have my own temper to shallow, a temper that not everyone can tolerate, and a strong character that challenges.
Every time when such similar incident or misunderstanding or arguement or whatever you called it happened, we solved it, made peace and then awhile later another incident will definitely arise again. Well, you know it's a whole load of challenge to tackle this kind of frequent conflicts again and again and again, and each time either one has to think of ways to break the ice and start a new conversation all over again.
And then to feel disappointed because it happened again.
If I am a pain, I think that friend is worse. Haha. I wish I can don't bother but too bad, I can't. Haha.
You know, sometimes I so wish I am still like a kid, and say to friends who upset me "hmph...i don't friend you anymore. tomorrow i won't share my barbie doll with you...i go home tell my mother then you know."
Alrighty, I need to wash up and sleep. Such nice weather to sleep in but I keep coughing. Meeting Cindy for tea later! On a lighter note, I love my "best friend". He brought me water cos I said my throat was almost dying and I felt he genuinely care. Love you dear! I hope your wifey doesn't read this. Haha.
And Happy Birthday to Jianling! =)
Good night and loves. :)
Sunday, May 16, 2010
It's good to meet up friends along the journey, you know sometimes when you reach Singapore you find it so hard to find a time together to catch up. Doing this flight with friends on board, met Julian in Japan, talked to the Ah Beng on phone across the universe ( okay la...not across but probably just the distance between Singapore and Tokyo. ha)
Well sometimes you know you only have that much to say, that amount of stand to comment. Other than that, you have to bear with the uneasiness and to make your own self realise you have to wake up and realise perhaps maybe it's just a phase or passer by story that somehow triggers your emotions, We are all moving on, each and everyday, all for the better. I guess so. :)
Saturday, May 15, 2010
World's Greatest Superstar; Hollywood Best Girlfriend; Hollywood Best Ex-Girlfriend. Thank you for the awards. Hahaha...! =p
I can't get myself to sleep anymore. Had about 4hours of sleep and I am so widely awake now. So wanted to go to the opposite to buy MacDonald's breakfast but I am so lazy. Going for brunch later, or probably I shall just wait or? Contemplating sial...
*ROAR* I am invading Japan again. :)
Thursday, May 13, 2010
The question mark(s) I have since a few days ago seem so much clearer now. Though subconsciously I still do very much think of it. Oh well, I come to realise there are actually so many things which are so beyond my reach. Maybe there will be a time pause somewhere in the future, for me, for you and for everyone else to re think what and who they really want in life and a second chance to own a new choice or a decision.
Likewise, when you have to constantly think and remind yourself how to communicate with certain people so that it benefits both parties. It's like even such simple relationship between 2 people can be such a chore. And then you start wondering to yourself, "what's wrong huh?"
I have lots more to say But I am so sleepy now. My eyes can barely open. Need a mini break before the shower. ;p Till much later okay? Muacks!
Monday, May 10, 2010
Saturday, May 08, 2010
I used to think why can people do this, why can people do that, and then to realise actually me myself, I am not close to perfect either, and why should I judge people based on what they have done or what I have heard? I am not fitted anyway.
Well, have a great Saturday with your loved ones~:)
Friday, May 07, 2010
For the first time, after so long, that I felt waking up, taking my first breathe of the day and facing the reality was such torturing. And to add on, the overwhelming weather is annoying.
So... What's for lunch today? ;p
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
Today....is just weird actually. Well, something we just don't have to take it seriously. It probably is just another chapter or small little story along the way. We are all heading home now, heading back to where and who we should belong to. Some memories are just meant to be kept and left behind.
Time to shower and get ready!
Monday, May 03, 2010
Sunday, May 02, 2010
Hello! How's everyone out there? Frankfurt and New York are having very good weather. Warm and sunny, almost perfect for the upcoming summer. =)
And me? Bumped into a few friends overseas, all the HIs and BYEs, then there are so many alcoholics, and I had one of the worst hangover ever. Heading spinning the whole day, vomited many times, and I had such a hard time dragging myself out of the bed. Seriously don't fancy it, especially when I don't even remember what happened last night. And people started to tell you things that make me feel like slapping myself. ANYWAY, I just can't wait to go back Singapore on Wednesday evening. So missed being around, and I suppose to do a London right after I come back, but in the end, I change my mind. Money is never enough to earn. Need those precious times in Singapore to recuperate and meet the long awaited ones. :)