One more day before I am back to work again. It has been good, so far. I spent time reading my books, watching my taiwanese drama, meeting my girlfriends and those favorite friends, eat my all time favorite japanese food. =)
Then again, there are still a few more people whom I wanna see and catch up with but I doubt there's time for us to do so. I have yet to catch up on my beauty sleep. I have yet to hit to gym like I always say I want to keep fit, lose and shed those fats! And I failed to become a vegetarian. *shake head* Hai... Haha.. I am so easily tempted and I find it so hard not to eat any meat. I have yet to tidy my own messy room, though I always ask people to come clean for me but it never comes true. *laugh* I have yet to colour my hair again. I have been talking about using the liese bubble dye myself but I am so timid, in fear the colour comes out too patchy or so out of the blue. Plenty of tasks to accomplish and I so sucky at time management at times. *pout*
One more day, I will make good use of it. Most important of all, I know I will be happy and satisfied at the end of the day. People whom I didn't meet, call or even sms, it doesn't mean that I have totally forgotten about you. I may just be too preoccupied in my own world. Drop me a call or a sms. I would love to hear from all the dearies of my life. :)
Did I tell you.... I hurt my jaw and it's like so ugly-ly bruised now?
Did I tell you.... I woke up freaking late today, missing the appointment with my friend (till she kept buzzing my phone then I jumped out of the bed.)? Stop sleeping so late everyday, (I am talking to myself)
Did I tell you.... I am actually still quite affected by many things in my life, and yet I find it hard to express my emotions, my uptight and frustration?
Did I tell you.... I am like almost 10kg heavier than when I am studying? Flying is good life, really. Eat, shop, sleep then eat again.
Did I tell you.... I actually miss some people in my life badly?
There are times we sighed and talked about how things have changed over the weeks, months and even years, how relationships between people have changed or even deteriorated due to various factors. We often think it's a pity, it's a lost, and maybe at times wished IF ONLY things never change, IF ONLY relationships never change, how wonderful everything can be?
"If you keep focusing on what you left behind, you will never see what lies ahead." I am so guilty of this at times. I often look back, and say how much I missed the past, I often wished IF ONLY times can go back, I often get into emotional mode and feel uptight about whatever that was left behind, I often sighed how things and relationships between me and certain people have changed, I often missed my history.
And then I realise I can't move on when I keep harping on the past. There could be good memories, mistakes, and even lost opportunities. But so what? It's all over. And I am where I am now. Though a part of me still lingers in memories, I am hoping for a more settled path of light to guide me ahead.
Still willful, still love to throw my 大小姐tantrums, still boastful at times, still hard to please, still very much want attention, I think I am still me. :)
Had a good few hours of nap after dinner. Was so tired after a long flight back from London. 4 good days in Singapore before my next flight. Good night everyone!
And oh... Happy Birthday Mandy! More than 13years of friendship. What else can I say? Hehe..
Too much of the sweet baileys and kfc, I ended up waking up with a superDRY throat. But now it's better, been drowsing myself with water. Was in my friend's room last night, and then I was so tired that I dozed off, my friend said while he was trying to wake me up, I suddenly shouted in my sleep. He's not the first person who told me that I screamed in my sleep. My batchgirls, and some friends who stayed together with me before said the same thing too. One actually commented you must have a lot of stress and troubles in yourself and you kept bottling them up, and the only way you feel safe to release them is in your sleep. Is it true? I have no idea. Haha. Stumbled my way back to my room after I was woken up, and was rather embarrassed. I seriously hope I didn't say or do anything silly. Lol.
Eating my favorite strawberry scones from M&S now, going to take a short nap in a while before getting ready to go back SIN.
Was watching the Manila Hijack on BBC News, and I couldn't help but to feel very sorry for the victims. This man-made tragedy made me wonder what had gone through the hijackers' minds to kill so many innocents? A holiday became a journey that will never return. How heart throbbing. Like the saying goes, you will never know what's going to happen next. And many of times, the unexpected happened and you don't even have the time to react. I guess, we shouldn't worry too much about the future. What's more important now is the present. =) Enjoy it. Even if you hate it, you just have to be hopeful. Nothing is impossible. :)
~yawns~ In need of my dosage of beauty sleep before heading out.
As definition, I always deem to have high expectations for people. And then forgetting that everyone else has high expectations for me too. And when I failed to fulfill, they leave me, they move away. And my explanations are redundant. Damn the vicious cycles, over and over again.
I am thinking, just thinking, why do people still want to look back when they have already moved on and chosen another decision? Was it in the spite of anger, disappointment and frustration? Or was it simply a lie to own self? You see, I am always full of random thoughts here.... But they didn't come for no reason. Haha, friends and acquaintance's have always tell me my blog is like so ambiguous. It seems like I am always talking about some things or some people but with no names and identities mentioned. And people start speculating what and who am I talking about, and why am I always so emotional in my entries?
I guess there's always TWO me. A inner me and a outer me whom I portrait to the world. I am always skeptical. I am always lack of security. And worst of all, I always allow myself to have to mixed feelings and 2ND thought.
Life is supposed to be filled with ups and downs, expectations and disappointment, waiting and more waiting and then it becomes impatience, priorities, views, and of course your heart to love and to feel compassionate.
I am still learning to be stronger and stronger each day. Acceptance to the facts of life that things and people do change. Maybe I will feel sad. Maybe I will feel affected. Maybe I can yet to give others my sincere blessings. I am just scared to welcome the day alone. If promises are meant to be emptied, hopes are meant to be demolished, expectations are meant to be disappointed, and that glimpse of light is meant to be cut off completely, why do people still dream? And why do I still dream?
In favor of God maybe. We know (I know) he would love to give us(me) the best of everything that he can give, but there is just so much we (I) deserved, isn't it?
Some people say it's better to be late than never. But me, I would rather never than to be late. When you are late, people are gone, things are different, and you are left with emotion baggage to handle. It's kind of a mixed feeling actually. As much as when you initially you claimed you are quite determined you don't like it, then when it's gone, then you start to ponder maybe it did take up a part of your life. And well, too late to feel regretful. 只有咬紧牙根.
As much as when I used to say it's all in the state of mind, as much as I used to exclaim happiness is all in the mind, nothing but a choice of yours if you want to be happy or the other way round. In this world, how much exclamation, how much emotions do we have to go through to reach the final string of the race?
I guess it's just me.
Side track... I am so hungry x 100times! *roars*
Everyone is checking in at foursquare, while I choose to check in from blogger at Shunji Matsuo. :)
Have a great Saturday! I can't wait for food which is hours later. Still need to check in at Shine Nails after this. Okay loves!:)
Someone commented, "eh girl you got do turnarounds one meh? i thought you only do long flights."
I rolled eyes, as usual. *lol* I need a break. :)
Saigon turn later. Yeah, no off day after the long day of Manila turn. Just helping someone to do the flight, with a little incentives. Heh. Thinking, aiya it's actually not that bad after all. I only reporting for work in the afternoon, coming back at night with transport provided, though most probably I should be driving, but still it should be a good flight, with my ex-team IFS. So yup, it will be a good Friday huh. =)
Looking forward to Saturday, cos it's an off day! *yAy* Thousands and one things to do, and I only have that much of time. Then it will be Jakarta, London and on Leave! Still not very much confirmed if I am going anywhere, (ya the problem lies with me. i have no idea why am i contemplating), but then again, I believe the answer will come by itself, soon. :)
It has been lingering in my mind and thoughts that, 有些事情还真的是一直没完没了。
Anyway, hear one of my favorite singer, (besides mr JAY, hehe..), Lee Hom's new song, 你不知道的事. It's damn damn good la! I want to catch the movie too!
A long day at work later. Manila turn. Will be back in the evening. I will continue to drown myself with lots of water. My ucler is irritating me. Feel like watching a movie in the night, if I am not tired. Ha. Okay, for now, loves. :)
Was night stopping in Sydney and then it just stroked my mind, how lonely one can get. There are times when it's really good to be alone, reading your favorite books, tuning in your hot pop songs from your iphone, watching american next top model on tv, no one is disturbing you. It sounds almost perfect like a plan. Then again, there are also moments you wish that someone else cares? The best would be those whom you bother much about take a second glance and notice at you. But how rarely huh?
Then who do people turn to when they are overseas? The so called "colleagues" and they drink, and drink, and smoke and smoke some more, and play games, and play even more games, laugh, talk cock and enjoy one another company for that very moment, not worrying about what's there for them in Singapore. But well, as long as one is happy, who are you to justify for their behaviours or actions right?
Random thoughts again. Like always. Haha... Many of times, we just choose to handle certain matters or even certain people differently from the rest. Does it spell discrimination? I beg to differ. Perhaps, maybe, what if, they are actually more special than the rest. And that's why we choose to treat them differently from the rest. People roar, people scream, people start pondering why the different treatment, but they do not think likewise maybe they are also doing the same things towards us.
I used to wonder where did this courage come from? And it just got me enlightened when this whole episode was over, it was love. It was the love that gave me the courage to LOVE. It may not always be happy ending, like mine, it ended with heart breaks and more heart breaks, tears and more tears, not forgetting the very happy times too, but it was quite an imperatively chapter in my life. Courage, where do people get them from? Determination to get something? Or just simply love? If you don't have it, maybe...I say maybe the feeling just isn't strong enough to make you that determined to go towards that something which you wanted.
I think courage in life is so important and overwhelming that we often overlook it, ended up taking things in granted, and let the regrets be part of your life's history. Is it worth it? I seriously have no idea. Courage in your own goals in life, courage in fighting for your rights, courage to love, and the most importanace of all, your courage to have courage. :)
Daddy wants me to help to send an email. I better do so before I forget. Hehe... Good night!
Was bored, hence so I flew over to Taipei during my off days to meet Xiu who has already been there for a week. I came back, and she is still gonna stay there for another week. Lucky girl. If not for work, I would have stayed a while longer. 3days were short but contented. No agenda. No itinerary. I just want to get away. To eat, to shop and to relax. I am looking forward to next run away trip like this. Last minute, no detailed planning, just packed your bag light, fly and go. :)
Understanding is a word we very often find ourselves expecting others to be. We want our boyfriends/girlfriends, parents, siblings, friends, colleagues and almost everyone around us to be understanding towards ourselves. But sometimes we very much forgotten that it's actually a vicious cycle, and according to the Newton's Third Law of Motion, for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Understanding should also apply to our own selves as well. How understanding can we be towards others? How gracious can we be in accepting others? As much as we expect others to be understanding towards us, I am sure they expect as much from us as well.
I always thought understanding is such an easy task, and yet there are people and in fact many of them fail to fulfill. And till I very much experience myself, trying to be understanding towards people, especially those who matters to me, I realise it's quite a challenging task to accomplish. Trying to understand why people don't have time for you, trying to understand why people don't call and sms you, trying to understand that almost everyone around you is busy (except your own self, that's why you have the time to brood over the fact why people is too busy to be around with you. HAHA.), trying to understanding why people choose to do certain things in certain ways, trying to understand why people make decisions that collide with what you have in your mind, trying to understand why certain people and certain things just seem more important than you, trying to understand why this and why that, and the trying to be understanding theory just keeps going and going and going.
Maybe it isn't that difficult to be understanding after all, though very often I find it hard to be understanding, and yet I always expect others to be VERY understanding towards me. I am that selfish huh? Perhaps it all boils down to how much tolerance level you have, how you perceive things around you, and how well you manage your own emotions. I am still learning, pretty much. :)
Decided to go VEGETARIAN for one month! Okay la, maybe for at least 2weeks. Too much oily fried food, fatty meat, and sweet desserts for the past few days, or rather for the past many many years of my life. Was watching 女人我最大 and they say lots of fruits and vegetables in your daily diet make your skin GLOW and RADIANCE, and you will also feel less lethargic as compared to meat eaters! And I hate to hear this, they claim too much sweet stuffs in your diet make you age faster!
I shall start tomorrow. *keep my fingers crossed* ;p
Work was not as smooth. Strange. Just before the flight, I already had this strong 6th sense going beyond me. And it all really happened. Pretty much like what I had imagined. Well, it's all over now. So I am done with it.
Have been lingering this thought for the past few hours in my mind, what if it's mine? What if that happiness should be mine? But it had ran away, anyway, for quite a while. And I have to witness the beholder holding the happiness preciously, just like how I would have done so, too.
Maybe I haven't met you yet. Maybe you have already been around. I don't know. I am still engraving my journey. The occasionally mixed feelings, the occasionally missing, the occasionally uncertainty. It isn't pretty much of a question, but more of what I really want actually.
Sometimes you just need someone to talk to, and yet you don't know who are the ones you really want to talk to...
Need some power nap before waking up in the early hours to catch the plane. Pretty much decided on drinking my favorite bubble milk tea and eating my fried mushrooms from Shilin Night Market. Hehe...
Thousands of miles away from home, jet-lagging and coping with GMT change over again and again, we still sang "Happy Birthday" song to Singapore on our journey to the hotel from Frankfurt Airport. Somehow, it still felt like home even though we are so far away from it.
Had pretty much enjoyed being a New Yorker for the past 2.5 days. Remember how and what I said before Frankfurt New York being a taboo flight? Well, it can really be, if you can just easily give your mind, your emotion and yourself away.
14 of us went for breakfast together at Alice's Tea Cup. It's amazing to have such a big group going for breakfast together in the States. Food was tasty, tea was aromatic, and the best of all, the company was great. :)
I had fun over good food and good company. It's pity the other 2 couldn't make it. Looking forward to the hotel stay over next month. (If it's successful. :p) Evie you better come! Hehe..
I am so happy. Happy is just a state of mind. For people who can't understand, it means happy, happy not, disappointed, disappointed not, it all lies in one's mind. So I rather choose to make myself feel better. :)