钻牛角尖

I still remember yesterday I was saying waking up to a new tomorrow everyday is the best gift for now. Not giving myself a single chance to harbour hope on things and people that are impossible. It was a mistake to begin with anyway. And I swear I never ever have the intention to ruin the present life and status of other people.

But it's always like that. When you are determined to get out of the emotional trap, somehow or rather it will still come back to you and try to pull you in all over again. Well, it's a little too much to think now. Haha. But the thoughts just keep coming. *laugh*

Well, actually I am feeling quite calm and comfortable now. I am thinking to myself, perhaps, 有些东西其实我并没有那么喜欢. It could have been just an illusion to substitute my loneliness? Maybe lei. You never know... Lol...

And so sorry, I am not smart enough to wake up one day to come to my realisation about certain things. I am quite stupid, seriously. I have huge difficulty understanding issues and logics in life. It's such a pity but I am that stupid, really. I suppose there's a price to pay for every single action we do, every decision we make. And maybe to a point there is no turning back. Maybe we will all feel the lost, maybe we will all only then realise how important certain people are actually to us. But a lot of things could be too late. The faith has died. The trust has died. We have died. Talking is expensive, or rather communication is too luxurious for poor people like us? Frankly, I really wish I am smarter.

:)

Like what Jade said, I shouldn't 钻牛角尖 anymore. I will be much happier. Back to work, it was tiring, having to sleep only 3 hours at home before work. I am tired, hungry and I can feel my sore throat coming back. Frankfurt having some public holiday now and shops are all going to be closed tomorrow. Hell loads of boredom. I hope I can spot a cafe that is opened tomorrow. I will bring my book, sip a cup of cappuccino and eat my cheesecake. Sound ideally. Heading to the gym in the morning or evening sounds good too huh? Heh. Alright my eyes super need to close and rest now.

Take care people, where ever you are. :)