To go or not to go?

Tmr there'll be this ritual ceremony to commemorate the 1st death anniversary of my maternal grandmum. Should I take leave to go? I told my mum yesterday that I don't feel like gng cos I don't wanna forfeit my pay for the day. I even burst out saying that I'll go only if she is gng to compensate my loss. My mum actually agreed! Truthfully, I don't mean what I say. I just said it out in a spite of anger. I can't deny that I refuse to go is not because of the pay, but my unwillingness to go is also partly because I think that the whole ceremony gonna be super dull & boring & I doubt all my cousins will be present. My mum says it's an unfilial act if I never go. :/

I feel like a bad granddaughter. Or am I not?

5.45pm soon. I gotta make up my mind fast. If I'm gng, I gotta let my colleague know. To go or not to go?