才发现每个人好像都变了。

你也变了。。

bad complex

My complexion is getting bad. Pimples start popping out, and the glow on the face is long gone. Lack of sleep? Hormones imbalance? Or auntie here is just catching up with age and the face is trying to show signs of it? Super need a new range of powerful skincare and makeup, meaning I need to spend money again. Saving money is such a tough idea. Haha!

I intend to head to the gym later, yeah, I really have to go. Then I feel like catching a movie and go for some alcoholic drinks tonight. Haha... But no plans quite yet. Still waiting for people to ask me out. *laugh*

Off to Zurich tomorrow late night with batchgirl again. Probably need some groceries shopping. We planning to cook in the room, for fun. Ha. But then, let me find my cook pot later. I don't know where I have dumped it too. Heh.

It's mid-week. Time should be passing fast. Have a good one everybody. Spend times with your loved ones, give a ring or text a message to those whom you haven't seen for long. Even a simple "hello, how are you?" may mean a lot to a person. =) And not forgetting to set some times to yourself, asking what you want. Sometimes we get too engrossed with life and work and we tend to forget ourselves, forget those who matter. Good luck, and cheers. :)

想恋爱了。想有个可以依赖的肩膀。可是真心好像都死掉了。还可以相信谁？

那天我想起你了。想起曾经爱我的那个你。想起曾经是我最爱的那个你。早就不爱了。我只是怀念。我怀念的是每次争吵以后还是想要爱你的冲动。知道现在有人在你身边让你取暖，我是为你开心的。:)

To my special friend, always.

:)

Good night.

Just shut up

Just shut up. I don't understand how can a man be so nosyparker.

Get a life.

Bui Bui

Supposed to go jogging with Qunjie but I was so freaking tired (plus lazy), I slept the whole day away since I was back this morning. Eat, sleep, eat, sleep, then eat again. I am so fat, butt super huge, chucky thighs, flabby arms and big round tummy.

Bui Bui stewardess. *grrr..*

Haha!

Good night, Paris

Paris is beautiful with batchgirls. Shopping, baileys, cocktails, sparkling wine, chocolates, yogurts, salads and lots of laughter. Just when I am so happy, my camera SD card seems to be corrupted and all my past and present photos are all gone. (I have yet to transfer them to my lappy.) And to add on, my IPhone can't be sync. Every time when I try to sync, my lappy will restart all over again, again and again.

I think I just don't click well with all these IT-SAVVY gadgets. They must have HATE me big time.

G11 and Macbook PRO, I heard you guys shouting for me... HA!

Good night, Paris.

Overeasy

Ice Kachang at T3 that day after Bangkok turn. *slurp* (=


Overeasy at One Fullerton. Love the view and ambience, over looking Marina Bay Sands. Even Starbucks at One Fullerton looks more atas. And they have lots of other restaurants, cafes and pubs there. Another choice of location to hangout during my off days in Singapore. (:
http://www.overeasy.com.sg/

Heading to the city of love and romance, Paris tonight. Shopping list for mum and myself. *cheeky grin* And flying with batchgirl, how can not be fun? Hehe..

Have a great weekend everyone. I will be spending mine in Paris. Envy me not? Haha... Go have dinner and sip some good wine and watch World Cup by the river at One Fullerton. I think you will have a good time like I will be in Paris too. Ha.

Right, till then.
Love ya all.

梦真的醒了.

we wll miss you

Has to report for work at 5am. Kill me please.

Mummy says, all things are fated and many times it's hard to run away. So before it's too late, say I love you to all those who matter.

We will all miss you, uncle. Though we drift apart when I grow up, I will always remember you. The tall and shy uncle who always pull my pony tail, buy me sweets, and joint forces with the other uncles to call me "ah fat" when I was young. Rest in peace. Ah gong and ah ma are waiting for you in heaven.

friendship

More than a decade of friendship.

This is a gift. =)

One step closer

I jogged 10rounds at the stadium in the evening. I am not yet any bit or inch slimmer, but at least I know I am one step closer to my goal. Haha.

Send my car for servicing. And I am waiting for it to be ready. Seriously, I am getting a little impatient. Hot and thirsty. I want my Starbucks!

Aimlessly

At a hair salon right now. Fancy bumping into colleagues here too. Been feeling pretty aimless, so I aimlessly walked into a random salon, just trying to find some things to do. *cover mouth and giggle*

Has it really been too long that I or rather we, deep down somewhere in us, feel somehow it seems pointless or meaningless for a substantial conversation on the equilibrium? Has it been so long enough that we are actually used to it? As much as I didn't want it to happen, I know it has been long enough for me to forget and move on. Are we going to follow the protocols again and again or should we just leave everything behind us and carry on with our individual lives?

Hungry for dinner by the way.
;p

就想赖着你

Was spending the last 2hours watching 就想赖着你 on YouTube, and then to brood over the facts that why I never meet guys like Jerry in my life yet. Ha. People always say tv soap dramas are made to deviate us from the reality. It is a sign to tell us fairytale only happened on the screens. And in real life, love is just made to fit into the missing denomination of the love equation. But, I still naively believe fairytale do happened in the reality.

Every time when I thought someone is different from the rest, I would always be proven wrong in the end. Whoever someone I thought can be different is actually the same just like anyone else. Just a penny of thought, there are things in life and actions we carried out which might put us in jeopardizing positions. And they always left us in illusions and dilemmas.

Maybe we used to think a lot of things can start all over again, and feelings can be the same once again, without realising we have actually all changed. There are some dialogues which can seem a little too late to begin. Maybe certain things are better off by not explaining?

*scratch head* What kind of stupid random thought is this at this hour?
Silly...damn..
Night loves.

the Karate Kid

Caught the Karate Kid and I thought it's very good. Please go catch the movie if you haven't ok? Cathay offering $6 per ticket if you pay by nets. So just go. Don't bother to buy dvd or download it online. It's definitely worth the money. *grin*

No more red

No more red nails for the next 5days! Happy. =p

Suddenly, it all felt like it has been nothing but just a dream all this while. All those that happened lately, they were just parts and pieces of the dream. I supposed to wake up much earlier but I kept running and somehow I just lost my way in the dream. Then, I fell down and I was forced to wake up.
还忘了要怎么喊痛. HA!

没事了.

meL~

iPhone entry...

First time trying to blog using my iPhone. And I think it's so freaking cool! Haha. I have been doing some reading, trying to make my eyes tired so that I can sleep. It's almost 5 now and I still feel very awake. *roar*.

Off to Melbourne later in the evening, coming back on Tuesday afternoon and I will have a few days of break from work. I can't wait. I have a sudden detest to put on those blue uniforms. A short break will be good. I guess so. :)

Thank you for putting up with my emotional postings for the past weeks. Been feeling very attention-needy. Pretty angry with myself. Some thoughts and logic just seem hard to straighten out. But I am working on them. Soon, very soon, everything should be able to fall in their rightful places again. =)

Been sleeping at 7 odd hours in the morning for the past 2 days. Madness.

Thank you for the calls and talks on the phone.

:)

It's getting ridiculous. Extremely ridiculous.

此刻。。。我才发现连说真心话的对象都没有了。

Maybe like what R said to me that day...."yolene, i think you should seriously go consider and think about what you really want in your life...don't 到处留情...ultimately, you may realise there is actually nothing left eventually. you are left with nothing, nobody..."

It so felt like a wake up call, a tight slap on the face. 到处留情? *laugh*

Well, 以为自己很厉害...
原来勇敢，坚强
没那么容易.

what's lost?

My brother just came home with the friends from partying, all smell like freaking alcoholics, and one of the friends yelled and said, "sis, your bro acted so dao just now...so many girls wanted his numbers just now but he acted so dao..." I replied..."ya la...you mean you guys don't know meh? he's a gay. *laugh*" Crazy bunch of guys. Lol. And now they just slammed their way out for supper. *roll eyes..* All heading to Amsterdam then to Sweden tonight for some training. My mum will have peace for weeks. =p

Was back in the evening after 8days. Freaking tired that I kept falling asleep. Eat, sleep, watch tv, sleep again, wake up eat supper, then sleep again, then shower, online and then to hear the guys storming into my house.

I know all the problems and worries won't go off by themselves but on my hand, I seriously have no idea what to do, what step to carry out next. Things just so happened consecutively, and it feels like it's all pre-planned ahead, all in joint forces to go against me.

I think this time... I have really lost...

ultimate

Frankfurt New York is like a taboo flight. As much as I love these two cities, every time nearing the end of the trip, it always makes me feel some kind of down. A kind of unspoken emotional tension that seems to be pulling me apart somehow.

Was too confident, arrogant to think I can conquer every thing I want and then to realise the ultimate loser is actually myself.

Such a laughing stock.

Had some beer and champagne last night, and now waking up with uclers in my mouth. :( Eating my favourite yogurt now, while waiting for someone to return from gym and go lunch together. I am quite amazed at myself for not buying things for myself this trip, even though I claim I want to buy the luxury brands in Frankfurt in favor of the low Euro. Hahaha... Good la... Save $$ hehe. Bought stuffs for mummy though. :)

messed up

Messed up thoughts.

And everything just seems so messed up.

Like suddenly....

I am in deep shit.

You mean in this whole wide world, there is not a single soul worth you trusting and believing?

And you know...

Just when I need someone to listen, and then to realise you are not there...

This is a damn bad month, seriously.

loving NYC

Enjoying and loving New York, at this very moment. Though the weather is ridiculously hot, the company is great. I didn't buy anything, like yet? I am so amazed with myself. Everyone got some shopping bags on their hands and where's mine? Haha... Save the money for Frankfurt, for the luxury brands. =p

Sometimes you don't even bump into friends in Singapore, but I just bumped one in New York. How cool is that? Heh...

Some things just don't require any closure. So let them be. Just realise over torturing myself with all those unnecessary emotions are like so silly. Who would care about how I could have felt? Not even the ones whom I thought they somehow matter very much. Well, this is part of growing up I guess. So yes, please grow up Yolene.

I ate the above after gym. Tell me about exercising... *grin*

*yawn*

Good night and till New York!

傻人会有傻福

我很好! =)

Though still not very smart enough, ling told me it's okay.
傻人会有傻福. ;p

Blame my stupidity if you want, I find it damn hard to understand a lot of things.
但起码我有感觉.
我知道什么叫痛. :)

Off to the gym for now~

bye loves, gmt+2 fra.

钻牛角尖

I still remember yesterday I was saying waking up to a new tomorrow everyday is the best gift for now. Not giving myself a single chance to harbour hope on things and people that are impossible. It was a mistake to begin with anyway. And I swear I never ever have the intention to ruin the present life and status of other people.

But it's always like that. When you are determined to get out of the emotional trap, somehow or rather it will still come back to you and try to pull you in all over again. Well, it's a little too much to think now. Haha. But the thoughts just keep coming. *laugh*

Well, actually I am feeling quite calm and comfortable now. I am thinking to myself, perhaps, 有些东西其实我并没有那么喜欢. It could have been just an illusion to substitute my loneliness? Maybe lei. You never know... Lol...

And so sorry, I am not smart enough to wake up one day to come to my realisation about certain things. I am quite stupid, seriously. I have huge difficulty understanding issues and logics in life. It's such a pity but I am that stupid, really. I suppose there's a price to pay for every single action we do, every decision we make. And maybe to a point there is no turning back. Maybe we will all feel the lost, maybe we will all only then realise how important certain people are actually to us. But a lot of things could be too late. The faith has died. The trust has died. We have died. Talking is expensive, or rather communication is too luxurious for poor people like us? Frankly, I really wish I am smarter.

:)

Like what Jade said, I shouldn't 钻牛角尖 anymore. I will be much happier. Back to work, it was tiring, having to sleep only 3 hours at home before work. I am tired, hungry and I can feel my sore throat coming back. Frankfurt having some public holiday now and shops are all going to be closed tomorrow. Hell loads of boredom. I hope I can spot a cafe that is opened tomorrow. I will bring my book, sip a cup of cappuccino and eat my cheesecake. Sound ideally. Heading to the gym in the morning or evening sounds good too huh? Heh. Alright my eyes super need to close and rest now.

Take care people, where ever you are. :)

I am not a saint.

I am not emo-ing over anyone. Basically, many people think I am. I am just full of emotions. I am not a saint. I will feel sad. I will feel angry. I will feel happy. And I cry when it's overwhelming. I have all kinds of feelings. I am not a superwoman, really too bad.

After the sleep tonight, I will be back to the true reality tomorrow. I won't live in self-denial. I won't get upset over people who aren't worth. I won't want to think what's going to happen next. I won't want to guess the future. I won't want to analyze how my friendship/relationship will turn out with certain people. It's too tiring. Everyday waking to a new tomorrow is the best gift for now.

Good night people:)

anticipation

Off days were spent having dinners with friends, running errands. but why am I feeling so drained out? It so seems like many things happened lately, trivial ones, big ones, all make me so emotionally drained out. So much so as I tried to claim to everyone and even myself that I am super OKAY, it just suddenly feels that hard to breathe. Perhaps, maybe, I don't have to be that strong actually. Cry out loud if I have to, laugh out hard when I feel like it. So what if the whole world is looking? Haha...

Off to my 8days Frankfurt New York work trip tomorrow. Not much anticipation, no expectation. Hope the work trip is good. If the mood is there, probably I will snap some shots along the journey and post them up here.

Someone told me last night, when there is no reciprocation, you can't expect the person to wait forever. The person has to move on and find someone else who reciprocates back the care and concern. You can't be that selfish you know? Yeah...exactly. Well, just some random thoughts la. Hehe...

Alright, will be back soon. I hope everyone out there is safe, healthy and happy. :)

Love.