I look forward.

One more day... Kind of 舍不得 actually. Hehe.

Let me recall...2008 has been quite an eventful year for me. A lot of things happened....

I broke up with the man whom I used to love very much. The man whom I used to think he was the one. The man whom I used to want to share ups and downs, good and bad, and everything together. And yet, I never told him once before that I actually needed him too.

I lost some friendships because of certain reasons.

But I gained new friendships because of certain reasons too.

I witnessed people who genuinely love and care for me for who I am.

And I witnessed people who do not appreciate me and took me for granted despite how hard I try, how much efforts I put in.

I flew around the world, for now and in the near future, I think I will still continue to put on my pair of wings to enjoy the beauty of the world.

I bought the most expensive present for myself. My beautiful white honda jazz.

The journey alone to endure and to face the challenges was not easy but when I look back now, I smile. Not because it's over. I smile because it happened.

I look forward to 2009. =)

Even bliss can be a piece of art...

我。。。还是输了。

reality vs fantasy

I am back from zurich, till the end of the year. =) 3 more days and it will all be history.

Happy and excited... because there is new hope, new beginning, new start for everything.
Sad and disappointed... because I can't seem to recall much that are worth remembering this year.

Have you ever come across something that you really really like but you have to keep reminding and convincing yourself that you no longer like it anymore? It's like having an angel and a devil in yourself.

The reality, the fantasy. Which one will you choose?

christmas, boxing day, zurich.

Everything else in zurich is closed because it's boxing day and yesterday was christmas. Flying on a christmas day wasn't too bad actually. Zero pax in first class, zero pax in business class, 17 pax in economy class, with 15 cabin crew, 4 pilots. This was my first time. >< Who travels on christmas day? But it was good for me. I had a bad hangover from the eve party, I slept for 3 hours and I was forced to wake up for work. This flight was much needed. Hehe... But I am prepared to work on my way back home. 3 in first, 29 in business, 222 in economy, tentatively. =)

Met mindy and jermaine last night. They were in zurich too but they were heading back to singapore one day earlier. We had hours of chat at jermaine's room. You know la...when batchgirls get together... Hehe... All the juicy news, gossips, latest updates in our life and the people around us... And it really gets me into thinking...that perhaps I could have looked at things in my life in a different way, handle my own emotions and personal life in a more appropriate manner that is deemed to be of more beneficial to me and my well-being. But sometimes I think too, it's my life. I decide on what I want. I don't have to follow what seems to be more rightful for me.

I have been sleeping, reading newspapers and book, eating my cup noodles and snacks, then sleep again. I thought I should head to the gym somehow. =p Probably going to the hotel restaurant later for dinner. I need proper meal. =p

Merry Christmas!

The hangover last night was quite bad. =/ Not really my intended celebration but we all had a little bit of fun together. =) Merry Christmas! I am off to Zurich later... Will be back on the 28 and off till the year ends. Quite a good deal huh? Hehe..

本来以为会是一个不能说的秘密，但它好像很早就被看穿了。
我也在这个时候对自己承认，那是一个从没逃掉过的感觉。
原来。。。悴落的时候想你更多。

the time before xmas...

I think...I really sux at touch-screen phones, or phones that are too tech-savy. My hello kitty phone from (last year xmas's pressie) and my current newly bought samsung omnia. And now I am back to my sony ericson again. (my this year birthday pressie)

Now I am thinking what should I do with the new phone... Learn to play and like it, sell it and get a new phone or stuck with my current phone for the time being.

Life is never too easy. Haha..

=p

thank you and you

Reporting was at 1040 and they called me at 0900. I was still in a daze when mum said an operator machine was talking to her when she picked up the phone. Ha.. Left my house at 1010, drove to the airport and surprisingly I still have time to go toilet for touchup. Haha..

I received xmas surprises again! Thank you and you. For all the love and care. Really appreciate each and everyone of you in my life. I thought this year christmas will be a little lonely without the boyfriend, now i guess this isn't so. =)

睡着了

睡着了，才会感觉到原来自己很害怕，很寂寞。
也只有睡着了，才敢在梦里放下尊严，承认自己其实还很在乎。
梦醒了，我们都回到了原点，一切归零。

Standby-ing for 380 today. I am not called up yet and please... I hope company doesn't even think of calling me ever for today. Haha... I have another normal standby tomorrow in which I think most probably they will call me, though I still do hope they don't, in which I doubt so. *sigh* Anyway, I will be heading to zurich on xmas day and back on 28! =)

I gonna pack my unwanted clothes, shoes, books, toys for the salvation army. My stuffs are way too overwhelming for my room and I think we should donate in kind to the needy. Yup yup. It's about time to contribute to the society. I have been living practically well and it's time to share our love to the others. I am thinking of child sponsorship too. Am still checking out the details. Once everything is confirmed, ta..da...it will be okay dokie!

love.

My dearest friend gave me a surprise! The Five Love Languages book! Thank you thank you! Hehe.. It's quite ironical how we met but I guess everything has a reason for it to begin and to happen.

=)

杨丞琳 - 在你怀里的微笑

杨丞琳 - 在你怀里的微笑

可以吗 让我和你对调
希望换成你爱我爱的快要疯掉
知道吗 你对我多重要
只是现在的我们并不适合拥抱
爱随着风飘荡飘过了你
最终飘到天涯海角
把我困在这城堡 哪里也逃不了
我不要别人温柔的怀抱
听不见你的心跳
连我熟悉的味道 再也闻不到
我只要你喊我一次就好
从前亲密的暗号
多想再次亲耳听到
让我暂时的依靠
那是份张止痛药 很快会失效
你只要再哄我一次就好
让我可以很骄傲
记住我拥有过的好
记住在你怀里微笑

emo emo... haha..

kindness

Something to share...

"I had been harsh with my wife by cutting down her ideas and telling her that what she said was not logical. I raised my voice and told her exactly what I thought. She walked out of the room, and I returned to the ball game on television.
Thirty minutes later she walked in with a sandwich, chips, and a Coke, all neatly arranged on a tray. She placed the tray on my lap and said, "I love you." Then she kissed me on the cheek and walked out. I sat there thinking: This is not right. This is not supposed to happen. I felt like a jerk. Her kindness overwhelmed me. I put the tray down, went into the kitchen, and apologised."

The wife demostrated the kindness of authentic love, and it changed her husband's heart. Kindness seems to be the key to love. When someone is unkind to you, you look for a way to be kind to that someone. This isn't easy but it can be done. When it is done, it brings love and joy to you. =)

"Receiving love is a beautiful result of loving others, but the pure joy of love comes first from having a loving attitude, no matter what we get in return."

love.
belle

I received my first xmas pressie yesterday. Thank you! Though it isn't something extravagance but I love the thought. =p

Just that this year xmas, the first pressie isn't from....uh hem...anymore.

=)

Name of the dish: Happy Glutinous Balls

Fillings: L.O.V.E.

Cook: Mummy lor.... =)

saved. =)

My nails are saved. =) But it took me 3 hours to do so. But I guess it was all worthwhile. I needed the repair like very badly. Hee...

Orchard was so crowded. Maybe because it was a saturday and xmas is around the corner. Shopping for pressies and xmas parties tends to be more intensive. There were xmas carol, beautiful lightings and deco, xmas shows and performances put up by various church and other communities. The ambience was surprisingly good. And I myself unknowingly felt in love with the festive atmosphere. *wide grin*

Dinner was at sushi tei. Wanted to catch a movie after dinner but I refused to take any seat from the first 3 rows. We didn't do any booking so it was kind of impossible to get a good seat. We ended up at starbucks for coffee and I much needed that. Frankly speaking, I haven't been sleeping much. Though caffeine doesn't really work on me, but subconsicously I still do think it does help a little. =p

I bought 2 books from Borders. Twilight by Stephenie Meyer and Love As A Way Of Life by Gary Champman. He is the author of the multimillion-copy bestseller, The Five Love Languages. I have been looking for that book too but it was out of stock. I can't wait to read! *excitingly claps*

there is always new thing.

A friend commented that my life is full of happenings everyday. There is always new thing. I guess so. That's why I said earlier, it's not easy to be me. My colleague mistaken my cargo bag for hers and she went home with mine just now. After a long hours 380 london flight, that is the last thing that I want to know. I thought my bag is still in heathrow airport. Anyway, it was quite a drama BUT... I got my bag back eventually, thankfully.

Suppose to have my primary school xmas gathering BUT... I returned home late, had dinner late, showered late, got ready late and end up they were planning to head home soon, like no point I drive down and they are heading back. They said "we all worked today lei...very tired you know..." I am like hello guys, your sister here not working meh? I worked even longer hours, physical and mentally drained by my passengers and the long hours on flight. Yeah.. My class had more guys and I was like the minority.

My friend is meeting me for supper. He says "don't have to force yourself if you don't wanna go, i very chin chai one... i understand from long flight you will sure be worn out...but i can still ta-bao to your doorstep if you are hungry or if you wanna see me..haha.." This man... Hai... *i shake head..haha..*

I hope I wont be out too late. I still plan to wake up early tomorrow to go do my nails. My gel nails are horrible. I have broken three of them. And I wasn't a B2 or D2 at work. *roll eyes* And I suppose I have a dinner date tomorrow. And I have to get my Twilight books. Didn't manage to get them from london. Yeah...endless "and" because there are just too many tasks to be accomplished these few days when I am still around in town. I have yet to tidy my room so that I can get a new bed for the new year. I have been wanting since like months ago, a new bed. =p

Alright I need to go. He is reaching in awhile. I want to be driven tonight. =)

And to ben... call me anytime when you are ready and free to talk. I am here. =)

Good night people...

love.

look forward

I was trying very hard to get some sleep before I fly again later but I just can't seem to tuck myself in. Still have my bacon and avocado salad in the fridge for me to finish. But I am all ready to go home... =)

Flying really makes time flies faster than usual. I have been running from clouds to clouds for two years plus. But I feel I have yet to see the world. And it's plain boring to see the world alone. Yes. I have colleagues and friends to keep me company when I am away. But you know the feeling is different. I want to see the world together with someone special. Does it mean I have to find a fellow crew boyfriend? Haha... But it isn't easy to be a crew's partner. I have to admit. The skeptical, the insecurity, the temptation (okay, maybe temptation is everywhere but my job permits a higher tempting opportunity...lol..).

When I had a boyfriend when I was flying,....

I hated long flights.
I loved off days in singapore when he was around.
I wished he would and could sms and call me more often when I was away.
The first section that i zoomed into at abercrombie and hollister was the men's section.
My thoughts always ran wild when I was all alone in the hotel room by myself.
I was always happy to talk about him to my fellow colleagues and friends.
And probably he didn't quite understand what I was going through and why I was feeling such way because he wasn't a crew, then.

But those were the days la. It doesn't matter now anyway. Haa..ha.. Just reminiscing those memories and moments, once in awhile. Heheh... =p

I promise. =)

I wish I have something/someone to look forward to again, whenever I am back.

=)

Love.

如果可以。。。
我希望我不用被后对着，才敢哭泣。

如果可以。。。
我希望我可以降低身份去追，去爱我想要的东西。

如果可以。。。
我希望故事的下一集还是由你来为我写。

If I can...

I hope I don't have to cry alone when no one sees.

If I can...

I hope I can be extraordinary brave to pursue and to love the things and happiness that I have always been wanting.

If I can...

I hope you are still the writer for my new chapter.

But bear in mind, they are all "If I can", "如果可以". Some people are just blinded to see that I am here. Haha.. Anyway, just some inspirational thoughts. I am glad I will be home tomorrow and off for the weekend! *cheekily smile*

Thank you Joseph. =)

May your wife has a smooth delivery next year! Look forward to your little baby boy okay? =p

What happens when you get too bored in your room?

Pretty Woman

Tv is showing Pretty Woman now. Julia Roberts and Richard Gere. Oh boy, if you ask me, Pretty Woman really tugged at my heart and soul and made me laugh, all over again.

The fairytale with reality and it should be the way.

I want my xmas tree...

I want my xmas tree...

Had my second round of ducky today. Shopping wasn't fruitful. I miss and love shopping in states better. Good thing I am going new york next month. Probably it is going to be snowing then but it doesn't matter. I miss new york. Hehe...

The rest last night wasn't exactly peaceful. I was haunted by some people. *roll eyes & laugh* Yup... I always get haunted pretty often. Ha. The shower makes me all refreshed and ready for later. I am going to take my time to shop, drink coffee, pick pressies!

那天。。。我遇见了夏天的梦。
它让我好想。。好想又再背叛自己 。

Some food for thoughts... Lol...

Enjoy life and love everyday, this is for everyone... =)

Love.
Belle

love, strangly powerful

Am replaying the song of this singer. I like the way he sings this song. I like the way he tells what love can do. Love is strangely powerful. I witnessed parents carrying and wheelchair-ing their child who is physically and mentally less developed than a normal child. I saw mum in her old age taking care of her down-sydromes daughter. I saw a young little girl kissing her baby brother who is sleeping in the bassinet. I saw many couples holding on to each other's hands during take off and landing. I think... there isn't anything that is more powerful than love in this world. Not even money.

And because of the power of love, you tend to do things that are more than usual. To all the men who were once in my life before, thank you. You all have made my love stronger. =) I have made up my mind, to continue to have the extraordinary courage to love my future. =)

吴克群 - 为你写诗

爱情 是一种怪事
我开始全身不受控制
爱情 是一种本事
我开始连自己都不是
为你我做了太多的傻事
第一件就是为你写诗
为你写诗 为你静止
为你做不可能的事
为你我学会弹琴写词
为你失去理智
为你写诗 为你静止
为你做不可能的事
为你弹奏所有情歌的句子
我忘了说
最美的是你的名字
爱情 是一种怪事
你的笑容是唯一宗旨
爱情 是一种本事
我在你心里什么位置
为你我做了太多的傻事
第一件就是为你写诗
为你写诗 为你静止
为你做不可能的事
为你我学会弹琴写词
为你失去理智
为你写诗 为你静止
为你做不可能的事
为你弹奏所有情歌的句子
我忘了说
最美的是你的名字

我什么都能忘记
但唯一不忘的是你的名字

london 15-19dec

Aircraft had a problem. After all the ground preparation was done, we were told to put back everything and disembark. What's up with 380? We had to wait for another aircraft, flight was delayed, that reminded me of my paris flight a few months ago which had the similar encounter. After all the movements, tiredness and of course hardwork, we reached london safely. That is the most important right? Haha.

Had my london duck rice, bought my favorite yogurt, fruit juice smoothie and some random food, other than my own cup noodles that I brought along from singapore. 4 degree celcius with a cuppa of hot mocha does help a little. =)

Xmas shopping tomorrow! Kind of looking forward...

be me for a day.

想试试看当一天的我吗?
当一天的 Yolene Peh.

瞧瞧看她的努力。
见识一下她非一般的勇敢。

你会发觉。。。你会超想爱她的!
哈哈哈。。
*我是害羞的笑着, ok?* =)

伦敦。。。我来咯!

Will I go back on my words? Am I allowed to?

我不知道了。。。

Let my 6th sense and intuition lead me to the next step!

=)

Please watch "Twilight" cos it is really good! Bitterly sweet, yet fascinating enough to get hold of my attention throughout the 2 hours. I so gonna buy the books! Maybe can get them from london since I am flying there tomorrow night. Just in time to do my xmas shopping in london. Not really many pressies to buy but you know it's nice to give xmas pressies (and of course to receive!!...hehe...) during this lovely festive season. I won't be around in town for xmas I guess. But still.... I gonna meet my favorite people, families and loved ones for little catching up, dinners, drinks, talking, here and there, before or after. Time in singapore is really precious.

Now you know.

=)

And I don't really like my new samsung phone. It's too complicated for me... Haha! So I am still using my red sony ericson phone. Anyone wanna take over my new phone? Lol...

"in the twist of black and white, you will still see colours even at the slightest glimpse."

for you.

love.

I bought my new phone! Samsung Omnia in white, 16gb. It wasn't my first ideal phone in mind but i thought it looks rather classy and chic though, and the salesperson was nice and cute! Haa.. I haven't start exploring, just started charging the battery for the very first time. Shall play with it after my hongkong turn. Yes. I am called up to do hong kong turn. But it comes with 2 off days. Hence I am taken off my jarkata turn which means I only have to do my 380 london on monday night! I have the weekend off! Yey! Hehe... Zoukout anyone? =p

Had high tea at carousel, royal plaza on scotts just now. The spread was pretty good! I love relaxing afternoon like this, eating good food, drinking coffee, hanging out around with friends and loves. :)

And....I found my perfect snowman for my car already! Haha... Will post the perfect snowman picture up after I take a snap shot of it.

Good night. It's another battle tomorrow...

Love.

yolene and hera!

Just came back from supper with a long time no see good friend. Hehhe.. He said I always fly him aeroplane. Lol. Cappuccino with traditional cheesecake for the night. =)

I almost lost my car keys just now. It's a long story. Not exactly long but I am just lazy to explain it here. But I still found it in the end. All thanks to the kind soul. Lost and found. This kind of feeling is serenity. =p

idiotic

It is so idiotic. Reported sick for an indian flight and they called me up for an indian turn. Some more the reporting is at 0535. How "nice" to me huh? I know I am silly. I have the taste of my own medicine already. It could all be avoided but I still choose to make it happen. Good thing we only worked one sector. I caught some movies but didn't complete them cos my eyes refused to stay awake. I was so tired that I had to go down to the crew bunk to take a nap. We were given the permission to do so. Lucky us. =) And we get like 2.5 times of the IFA? At least not so bad. I can't imagine working both sectors of a bombay turn.... *roll eyes* Ha... But all of us got complemented for our good work and sincerity. So it's still a pat on the shoulder. Hehe...=p

My collleague teased me just now, saying, "i thought i saw an angel!" Thank huh? It maybe said out for fun or to make someone's day. But it defintely made me smile, at that very moment. Thank you! Especially to those who have been sincerely nice to me. I really really appreciate it. =) =)

Errands day tomorrow! =)

xoxo.
yolene

A&W and Big Boy

My fav. =) And I manage to taste it again in texas after so many years! I still remember those days when I had my root beer float every other day.
*grin*

My youngest brother POP lor! Hehe. Haven really seen and have a proper chat with him for very long. Only manage to catch him for awhile just now and exchanged a few sentences. Big boy now huh? =)

Love.

爱情。。。并不需要炫耀。
认真相爱过，而又肯定与认同彼此的存在，这段爱情还是算曾经美丽过。

谢谢你。。。给过我最美丽的爱情。
谢谢你。。。留给我最珍贵的记忆。
谢谢你。。。让我知道什么是爱太深会让人疯狂的勇敢。
谢谢你。。。带我走过最难忘的旅行。
谢谢你。。。留下最痛的纪念品。
谢谢你。。。爱过我。
谢谢你。。。林源伟。

但是。。。

对不起。。。我已经不爱你了。

希望这次这个决定我不会后悔。
我们。。。以后就各自精彩吧!
=)

I kind of miss hawker centre's food actually. Satay, stingray, bak chor mee, fried prawn noodles, rojak, chicken wings, chicken rice, chilli crabs, prata, ....... *drools*

=p

"My own life has been much more than a fairy tale. I've had my share of difficult moments, but whatever difficulties I've gone through, I've always gotten the prize at the end."

回家了

回家了。
回到了现实。
回到了我该面对的原点。

有些决定，现在后悔了。
我该怎么办?

一次机会，也有可能是最后机会。
可是这个机会怎么会让我那么后悔这个机会的存在?

Finally had some homecooked food for dinner. Chee Keong cooked rice, campbell soup, egg, and some canned food. Though those were not dishes that would make you go "wah, wow!" but they were good enough. Am sick of pasta and pizza. Thank you for the dinner! =)

My friend said I can be stronger. I told him if I am not strong, I wouldn't be standing here, right in front of you now. Then he said, "yes but you can be stronger."

How strong you want me to be?

I was at polo raulph lauren store at san marcos. I picked up a polo tee for myself. Then I walked to the men's session. I was so tempted to get an identical / similar one in the men's cut. Karen walked over and asked me, "who is it for?" I smiled and put the polo tee back on to the shelf.

Jamie said "how lucky is it for guys to have crew girlfriends. they always have all kinds of brands from all over the world."

But some people just couldn't appreciate then.

Back in moscow. Had a pretty good rest last night. But suddenly I feel exceptionally lonely...

Very.

Suddenly...I think I don't like my hair colour and my hairstyle. Gonna do something about it when I come back. Haha... *giggles...*

san marcos

The road trip to san marcos was splendid. We woke up very early in the morning, rented a big van (but i think it looks more like a big car), the FO drove, we stopped by for mac's breakky, and in 3hours or so time, before we knew it, we were at san marcos. The place was big, with all the popular states brands and other big brands, you name it. We got really good deals. =)

It was tiring though, cos the place was huge and we had to walk quite a bit. And all of us just got hungry like every few hours. We had the long missed A&W for dinner! Everyone was so delighted when we spotted the restaurant as we drove past. I love my root beer float! Hee.. =p

Everyone was like dozing off in the car on the way back except the driver and the navigator. Felt a little bad though. They were busy nagivating and trying to stay awake to drive and get us back to hotel, while the rest of us just dumped all our shopping loots in the car boot and fell asleep on one another shoulder. *laugh*

Still have some last minute shopping and things to get at the mall near the hotel tomorrow. Have to get up early, be at the shops at the earliest timing which they are opened and be back in time to prepare for work. Probably going to get some food and drystores to last me for my returning stays in moscow. I don't think I would be going out this time. It's too cold to be true now. Haha. And I think I am falling sick. Flu and sore throat sydromes start to show. I just pop two panadols and my vitamin C, with lots of water.

Hope it just get better. =)

Love.

My little santa! love.

Thank you for listening. =)

Currently at texas now. Gmt -6. I am feeling so jaded. And I am still comtemplating if I should join them to the factory outlets tomorrow. They gonna rent a car and drive out. Left-hand drive in states and it so gonna be my first time. Maybe I wont be driving or we will take turn to drive.

It's still a long way home...

And suddenly I don't know if I still miss you as much. I guess I still do think of you at random times during the day and the night.

I recalled those times, when we said we missed each other...

I give myself 40marks today.

=)

minus three

Moscow, minus three degree and I am feeling kind of calm and peaceful. I just realise I always seem to sleep better when I am overseas. Maybe I am away from all the stress and pressure, away from the things and people whom stir up my emotions. This kind of temporary emotional getaway is much needed for me. Perhaps I am just running away, I am just avoiding, as long as I feel better.

Using the free wifi at the hotel lobby now, with chee keong besides me. =)